Month: February 2010
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2/26/10 Midafternoon Report: AIG loses more in Q4 than entire GDP of Malta, warns Botswana they’re up next
The market is a bit mixed today like the drug cocktail found in Brittany Murphy’s stomach. Sales of existing homes dropped for the second consecutive month, this time by 7.2% which is the second largest decline ever and is creating more of a buyers market than the internet did for newspapers. The decline was caused…
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2/25/10 Midfternoon Report: Goldman Sachs seeks nobel prize for literature after (under)writing biggest Greek tragedy since Euripides
Greece’s debt issues are once again scaring the market like the snake ridden visage of the famous gorgon from ancient Greek mythology known more familiarly as Lady GaGa. Rising debt, a spiraling deficit, and a massive bidding up of CDS by traders betting against Greece has created somewhat of a Foucault current around the Greek…
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2/24/10 Midafternoon Report: Bernanke channels his inner Greenspan and promises to keep rates low until the next bubble
Dizzam, Benny B went in front of the House Financial Services Commitee today and let everyone know that rates will be kept low for a more “extended period” than a menometrorrhagia sufferer. Despite last week’s back and forth between Bernanke and his henchman Thomas “T-Ho” Hoenig about the language used by the Fed in their…
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2/23/10 Midafternoon Report: Consumers are very confident in the economy getting shittier
The market has hit a speed bump today as consumer confidence fell to its lowest level in 10 months. Consumers are now less confident than a slightly overweight 16 year old girl with bad acne and a spastic colon on her first day in a new school. The confidence index dropped to 46, which is…
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2/22/10 Midday Report: M&A picking up as small companies take out their diaphrams hoping to trap acquirers before rates increase
The market is running in place today as it awaits further earnings and macro news later this week. The big M&A news today is that Schlumberger is buying Smith International for $11B, while the big T&A news today is that Rhian Sugden is hot. Schlumberger, which sounds like what is served for lunch in Berlin…
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2/19/10 Midafternoon Report: Core inflation tame, good news for those who don’t eat or use energy
The market hung in there today despite Ben Bernanke’s surprising discount rate raise after the market closed yesterday. Bernanke continues to think outside of the box in managing the economy (and as long as it isn’t Hannah Hilton’s box, then Money McBags is fully on board because one should only think inside her box, never…
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2/18/10 Midevening Report : Bernanke preemptively raises discount rate, causes Alan Greenspan to roll over in his grave
Aw shit, it is now on like donkey kong as the Fed is getting serious about some shit. This ain’t your Greenspan pushover, lolligagging, lobster tails and blow jobs for everyone, bubble creating Federal Reserve. No siree, this Bernanke guy is a straight up pimp and will bitch slap the market back to reality and…
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2/17/10 Midevening Report: Fed hints at reversing stimulus, starts by canceling Bernanke’s Playboy subscription
The market was up today like a hooker’s skirt in Tiger Wood’s SUV. The rally was driven by earnings, earnings, earnings and some macro data. Apparently people are still building houses as housing starts hit their 6-month high, rising 2.8% to an annual rate of 591k. This marginally beat expectations and should be a good…
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2/16/10 Midnight Report: Commodities rise as NBC giving out medals to anyone who will watch the Winter Olympics
Money McBags is on the road this week like Jack Kerouac (though without the gay sex, pot smoking, acid dropping, and melodious run on sentences). As a result of Money McBags’ travels, daily updates may be shorter and sparser than Vern Troyer at a Mensa convention or blow jobs to a married man as the…
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2/12/2010 Pre-Market Report: China tired of Greece stealing headlines, raises reserve rate to try to be January’s Economist centerfold, promises to show their Shanghai if selected
It’s a travel day for Money McBags so we’ll get to the market news early. The big story which should give pause to the market (and by pause, I mean send it into a bit of a downward hissy fit like someone at Fox News after trying to spell USA without a teleprompter) is that…