Month: February 2010
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2/11/10 Midday Report: EU says they will bail Greek out but offers few details, claims they were drunk at the time
The Greek debt crisis in Europe is still causing uncertainty in the markets as the leaders of the EU gave a tepid, vague, and Spicoli-ian response to their discussions and plans to bailout the Greeks. The president of the EU, some guy named Jose Barroso who also doubles as the Prime Minister of some place…
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2/10/10 Midday Report: Bernanke’s statement stuns meteorologists, causes it to rain on market’s parade in the middle of a snowstorm
The big news moving the market down today was the statement from Ben Bernanke about the FED’s future policy plans. Bernanke was supposed to testify in front of the House Financial Services Committee but the snow storm in Washington caused the hearing to be postponed giving Barney Frank more time to make snow angels and…
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2/9/10 Midday Report: Greece once again open for business, no longer a Euro school dropout
The market is up strongly this morning after EU Bank president Jean-Claude Trichet decided to leave Australia where he was attending the Reserve Bank of Australia’s 50th Anniversary Symposium which was a party likely as raucous as a staring contest between Bea Arthur and JD Salinger (mainly because they’re both dead). Even so, we are…
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2/8/10 Midday Report: Debt crisis forces EU to pull Super Bowl ad, can only afford to broadcast it on new 24 hour Michael Bolton Hip Hop Channel
The market opened down again before bouncing back a bit as people are more worried about Europe’s debt problems than they are about global warming, health care spending, and that thing on Drew Brees’ face. The President of the EU’s Central Bank, Jean Claude Trichet (and it must be pointed out that his name is…
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2/5/2010 Midday Report: Unemployment rate drops as more jobs are lost, for next trick, unemployment rate to solve world peace by creating more wars
The market is down again today as Europe’s sovereign debt problem keeps rearing it’s ugly head like Mayim Bialik on the ABC Family network. The big news in the US markets is that the unemployment rate fell to a measly 9.7% (though if you include people who stopped looking for work and those working part…
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2/4/10 Midday Report: Market shows Paris Hilton isn’t the only thing that can go down
Tim-motherfucking-ber. The market is nosediving today like a Biggest Loser contestant going after the last gravy covered deep fried twinkie at an all you can eat “stuff that’s bad” for you bar (and no offense to you weight-challenged people out there, but did you really need to go on a TV show to figure out…
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2/3/10 Midafternoon Report: Market seeking direction like troubled teen in ABC afterschool special, though with less crying and less Meredith Baxter Birney
The market is mostly lower today despite some moderately postive macro reports (moderately positive in the way that learning you have syphilis is moderately more positive than learning you have nut cancer). The ISM said the service industry expanded in January for the first time in three months, which may be one reason RICK is…
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2/2/10 Midday Report: Volcker to Banks: “Prop trade this!”
The market is bouncing back today even though it is a relatively quiet day news wise (though not as quiet as a Lindsay Lohan straight to video movie premier or a Trappist monk game of hide and seek). Pending home sales in the US rose 1% after falling 16% last month thanks to renewed tax…
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2/1/10 Midday Report: Pat Sajak miffed as $3.8T budget allows government to buy as many vowels as they’d like.
Obama’s budget is out and it looks like more stimulus is coming as the administration continues to try to sweep the recession under the rug (though I hear it is a delightful afgahn this time as Mrs. Obama has uncomparable taste). The budget is roughly $3.8T which is equivalent to 190MM lap dances or as…