Month: March 2010
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3/16/10 Midday Report: The Fed is coming! The Fed is coming!
The market is largely in neutral today as investors await the Fed’s decision on interest rates this afternoon. With the lilkelihood of the Fed keeping rates at their current low levels somewhere between the likelihood of Michael Lewis droning on about his bond trading days in his new book or the likelihood of getting herpes…
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3/15/10 Midday Report: March Madness is officially here as Moody’s thinks people actually care about what they say
The market is flattish today, likely taking a breather to fill out its NCAA bracket while trying to sleep off the headache caused by Dick Vitale’s pontifications yesterday on how loving Mike Krzyzewski is post-coitus. That said, Moody’s is out warning that major economies such as the US, Germany, the UK, and Vivid Video may…
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3/12/10 Midday Report: Macro data sending more mixed signals than a drunk married co-worker at a holiday party
The market was down in the morning with conflicting economic data having been released. Retail sales increased in February by .3% which easily beat estimates of a .2% decline (though the difference is so insignificant it could be contributed to a rounding error or some d-bag buying that one extra pair of Joes Jeans). Excluding…
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3/11/10 Midday Report: Yield curve spread continues to fatten, claims it wants to star in Precious sequel
The market is holding steady today as foreclosures in the US rose at their slowest pace in four years. While slowing rates of foreclosures are sort of pyrrhic news similar to declining new cases of AIDS or slumping sales of country music cds, a slower rate means a slower rising homeless population and that can’t…
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3/10/10 Midafternoon Report: Is that a bank rally in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
The market is higher today on the strength of a banking sector rally, positive economic news from China, and a likely date tonight with Izabel Goulart (because why else would it be this excited?). The macro news today has been slightly positive with wholesale inventories down only .2% sequentially in January after being down 1%…
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3/9/10 Midafternoon Report: Happy birthday bear market low, now go fuck yourself
Today marks the one year anniversary of the bear market’s devilish low of 666. To celebrate the nearly 70% rise since then, unemployed workers throughout the country are taking a day off from job hunting to resole their well worn and tattered shoes while Wall Street bankers are wiping their delicate behinds with their beluga…
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3/8/10 Midafternoon Report: Market more mixed than reviews of Oscar telecast (and for the record, Money McBags gave it two thumbs in the ears)
The market is quiet today, likely still in bed after staying up all night to watch something called The Hurt Locker win so many Oscars that that the people who couldn’t get tickets to Avatar may now go see it (that is if Alice in Wonderland is also sold out and they hate fun). The…
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3/5/10 Midafternoon Report: With Oscars approaching, the market is “Up” as economists “Blind Side”d by fewer job losses while strength of recovery remains “Up in the Air”
The market is running again as a result of the jobs report and inertia. According to the (No)Labor Department, the economy lost 36k jobs in February while the unemployment rate stayed steady (and for those cunning linuists or Nabokov fans, that is back to back anagrams) at 9.7%. This was better than the estimates of…
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3/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Market to Greece: “Your bonds are the one that I want,” just hope they don’t leave “Tears on My Pillow”
The market is bouncing around today as initial jobless claims were out and they fell by 29k to 469k, almost exactly the 470k number that economists estimated proving the old adage that “even a broken economist is almost right once a decade.” While the drop is positive, it didn’t drop by as much as claims…
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3/3/10 Midday Report: Service sector expands thus providing most valuable service: A rising market
The market is up again as the service industry grew more than forecast last month thanks to more people stopping off at McDonalds on their way to the unemployment office and then washing their sorrows away by watching touching interpretative dances at their local Rick’s Cabaret in order to warm the cockles of their jobless…