Month: June 2010
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6/17/10 Midafternoon Report: New claims for unemployment claim the economy still sucks
The market didn’t do much today as it tries to come down off its volatility high which was fueled by mass uncertainty, broken technical barriers, and a fuckload of pixie sticks. In macro news, new claims for unemployment were much worse than analyst guesses and also once again tested the (No) Labor Department’s ability to…
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6/16/10 Midday Report: BP sets aside $20B to be used on an oily day
First of all, Money McBags would like to thank all of you for your feedback yesterday. His inbox is currently overflowing like Whitezilla’s urethra after downing three cases of Mountain Dew in ten minutes (and feel free to google “Whitezilla” on your own time, Money McBags refuses to link to it due to good taste)…
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6/14/10 and 6/15/10 Midvacation Report: Searching for the Fountain of Truth
That’s right, Money McBags is off until Wednesday, unplugged like a high frequency trading system during the “flash crash” (though far less nefarious), as he tries to find the meaning of life. He is pretty sure the meaning of life involves accelerating sales, low discount rates, and plenty of Hayley Atwell, but he needs to…
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6/11/10 Midday Report: Retail sales drop as stores still insist on charging money
The market has been relatively quiet today after yesterday’s meteoric rise on news less relevant than the Pound-Dong exchange rate (and oddly enough Pound Dong was also the name of Alexis Texas‘ last movie) or the 93rd decimal of Pi (which incidentally is 2). In US macro news, consumer sentiment was better than analysts guessed,…
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6/10/10 Midevening Report: Market rallies in anticipation of tomorrow’s sell off
Readers, Money McBags apologizes for his absence yesterday, unfortunately he has a life outside of the great When Genius Prevailed and that life required him to spend all day watching Anna Paquin scenes now that she is oh so comfortable with her bisexuality, so you can’t really fault him for that. Anyway, today the market…
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6/8/10 Midevening Report: Bernanke speech fails to significantly rally the market, says he’ll overpromise more next time
The market was relatively quiet today as there was a lack of macro news though Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke was out late Monday saying: “My best guess is that we’ll have a continued recovery, but it won’t feel terrific like a blumpkin from Sara Varone followed by a nice wipe with that oh so soft…
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6/7/10 Midafternoon Report: Hold on to your shorts as market continues on wild ride down
The market was chugging along today, taking a brief respite to lick its wounds after Friday’s jobs report gave even the most virulent Bull a bad case of Foot in the Mouth disease, until it dropped precipitously in the last half hour like Helen Thomas’ reputation at a B’nai B’rith fundraiser. With Europe’s ongoing…
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6/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs report challenges Marmaduke movie for biggest bomb released on Friday
The (No) Labor Department’s jobs report came out today and was well below analyst guesses which sent the market tumbling like Tony Hayward’s Q score at a Greenpeace convention. The US added 431k jobs in May which was the biggest increase in a single month in over a decade since the internet was founded and…
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6/3/10 Midevening Report: BP apologizes for oil spill while investors await market’s apology for recent 12% drop
The market held steady today like the Universe according to Fred Hoyle or the unemployment rate over the past several months. Speaking of unemployment, jobs data came out in advance of tomorrow’s already leaked positive government non farm payrolls report which will no doubt feature a birth/death model plug so large that it will be…
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6/2/10 Midafternoon Report: Market runs in the late afternoon as it attempts to get home in time for Oprah
It was a relatively quiet day in the market today which is more of a rarity than a downward sloping supply curve, a funny Adam Sandler movie, or a bad picture of Olivia Munn. The market was up though as pending home sales shot through the roof, of course now someone will have to go…