Month: September 2010
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9/30/10 Midevening Report: Stocks end higher for the Q as HFTs continue to be their pusher
The market was relatively flat today as investors were focused on figuring out how to build rocket ships to reach the newly found Goldilocks planet (where the distance from a star, surface area, and moon position are all just right to make it potentially habitable) to start a new economy as the current one is…
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9/29/10 Midnight Report: To QE or not to QE – that is the already determined question
The market was relatively quiet today as QE2 continues to dominate the financial headlines like Pablo Picasso dominated the cubist scene in the early 1900s (and the current disjointed and broken market is perhaps an homage to the long gone cubists) or Eugene Fama dominated the Chicago school of thought in the 1970s with his…
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9/28/10 Midnight Report: Market stimulated by QE2 rumor. Rumor is that unlike that cocktease QE1, QE2 will provide happy ending
The market climbed today as investors all bet on the Fed continuing to manipulate its balance sheet like like RuPaul manipulates his/her junk in a gaff (and the things Money McBags had to look at while searching for that term/pic on the internet shall never be mentioned, so please laugh at that joke for the…
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9/27/10 Midnight Report: M&A market remains hotter than Sasha Grey in Grand Theft Anal (though with slightly less hair pulling)
Money McBags is back after taking a mental health day on Friday because writing 1k-1.5k words a day of fresh material, analysis, and dick jokes about the market is not quite as easy as it sounds, especially as Money McBags takes his work very seriously (see, he could throw up just any picture of Odette…
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9/23/10 Midevening Report: Housing and employment continue to struggle, but at least we have our healthcare
Ho fucking hum. Another day with more of the same news including bad unemployment numbers, bad housing data, and likely bad promises of a still unreleased Karissa Shannon sex tape (and it’s not even the one Money McBags wants to see). Excuse me while Money McBags yawns as how is he supposed to write dick…
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9/22/10 Midevening Report: Market down as Bernanke’s mixed signals cause it to question whether he “likes” or “like likes” it
The market was up briefly in the morning before investors could pull themselves away from watching NSFW art films (and Money McBags does not know the plot of that film but believes it is about the unbelievably wonderful place people in heaven go to after they die in heaven) and realize that the emperor has…
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9/21/10 Midevening Report: Fed pushes stimulus off until later, prefers to get drunk first and find their anal beads
The market was quiet for most of the day in anticipation of a statement from the FOMC where it was thought Bennie B. may let his hair down (pun completely intended) and talk honestly (and yes that was sarcasm) about the stagnant recovery. In the end though, the Fed just gave us more of the…
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9/20/10 Midevening Report: NBER said recession ended 15 months ago, also said they saw Elvis and found the G-Spot
The market melted up to a four month high today as technical levels were tripped after investors dropped some funny looking mushrooms in to the market’s salad, President Obama had an hour long town hall on CNBC where he assured investors that his administrations’ actions have stabilized the markets (though as always, it depends on…
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9/17/10 Midafternoon Report: Surprisingly strong RIMM job fails to stimulate the market
Volume was low today and the market was flat on a mundane “quadruple witching” Friday (and it is called that because all kinds of futures contracts and stock options expired today and not because Alan Greenspan’s guest appearance on Charmed was being rerun). The big macro news of the day was that consumer confidence fell…
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9/16/10 Midevening Report: Americans flash foodstamps in Poverty Gone Wild!
The market was remarkably flat today despite a flurry of economic news including new claims for unemployment, the producer price index, census data on poverty, and Craigslist officially shutting down its section for sex ads (thereby forcing wealthy scumbags to seek other arrangements). The most important, and frankly confusing, of the economic reports was the…