Money McBags
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3/10/10 Midafternoon Report: Is that a bank rally in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
The market is higher today on the strength of a banking sector rally, positive economic news from China, and a likely date tonight with Izabel Goulart (because why else would it be this excited?). The macro news today has been slightly positive with wholesale inventories down only .2% sequentially in January after being down 1%…
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3/9/10 Midafternoon Report: Happy birthday bear market low, now go fuck yourself
Today marks the one year anniversary of the bear market’s devilish low of 666. To celebrate the nearly 70% rise since then, unemployed workers throughout the country are taking a day off from job hunting to resole their well worn and tattered shoes while Wall Street bankers are wiping their delicate behinds with their beluga…
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3/8/10 Midafternoon Report: Market more mixed than reviews of Oscar telecast (and for the record, Money McBags gave it two thumbs in the ears)
The market is quiet today, likely still in bed after staying up all night to watch something called The Hurt Locker win so many Oscars that that the people who couldn’t get tickets to Avatar may now go see it (that is if Alice in Wonderland is also sold out and they hate fun). The…
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3/5/10 Midafternoon Report: With Oscars approaching, the market is “Up” as economists “Blind Side”d by fewer job losses while strength of recovery remains “Up in the Air”
The market is running again as a result of the jobs report and inertia. According to the (No)Labor Department, the economy lost 36k jobs in February while the unemployment rate stayed steady (and for those cunning linuists or Nabokov fans, that is back to back anagrams) at 9.7%. This was better than the estimates of…
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3/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Market to Greece: “Your bonds are the one that I want,” just hope they don’t leave “Tears on My Pillow”
The market is bouncing around today as initial jobless claims were out and they fell by 29k to 469k, almost exactly the 470k number that economists estimated proving the old adage that “even a broken economist is almost right once a decade.” While the drop is positive, it didn’t drop by as much as claims…
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3/3/10 Midday Report: Service sector expands thus providing most valuable service: A rising market
The market is up again as the service industry grew more than forecast last month thanks to more people stopping off at McDonalds on their way to the unemployment office and then washing their sorrows away by watching touching interpretative dances at their local Rick’s Cabaret in order to warm the cockles of their jobless…
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3/2/10 Midevening Report: Market rises as member of the Fed retires, economists worried more retirements could cause bubble
The Fed is getting all jiggy with the markets today and the markets seem to like it. First Ben Bernanke’s number one henchman, the honorable Donald L. Kohn who in 40 years of service at the Fed never saw a market he couldn’t inflate, announced he is resigning from his position as Vice Chairman of…
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3/1/10 Midevening Report: Semis conduct market higher, next up, Beethoven’s Fifth
Wow. The market ripped up today like it was competing for the Ansari X Prize in 2004 or like it was rushing to claim the last seat in a dream Hayley Atwell–Kate Bosworth Ultimate Surrender match (nsfw, unless your work doesn’t suck). Technology led the way thanks to an upbeat report on chip sales and…
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2/26/10 Midafternoon Report: AIG loses more in Q4 than entire GDP of Malta, warns Botswana they’re up next
The market is a bit mixed today like the drug cocktail found in Brittany Murphy’s stomach. Sales of existing homes dropped for the second consecutive month, this time by 7.2% which is the second largest decline ever and is creating more of a buyers market than the internet did for newspapers. The decline was caused…
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2/25/10 Midfternoon Report: Goldman Sachs seeks nobel prize for literature after (under)writing biggest Greek tragedy since Euripides
Greece’s debt issues are once again scaring the market like the snake ridden visage of the famous gorgon from ancient Greek mythology known more familiarly as Lady GaGa. Rising debt, a spiraling deficit, and a massive bidding up of CDS by traders betting against Greece has created somewhat of a Foucault current around the Greek…