BAC
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1/22/10 Day After Report: GE Causes Market to (Im)Melt Up as Shorts Watch their BACks
A big fucking yawn today as less happened in US macro news than in an MBA strategy class (now let Money McBags get this straight Mr. Porter, which one of the five forces involves the ability to continuously print money to get out of debt? Is that the “no threat of entry,” the “no substitute…
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10/25/10 Midnight Report: Show us your TIPS!
And now it has come to this. With the Fed set to print more dollars than there is available rag paper (though they will soon be able to use the tattered clothing of the homeless and long-term unemployed to make up for that shortage), the US Treasury issued TIPS at a negative yield for the…
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10/19/10 Midnight Report: 50k iPads a day won’t keep the bear market away
Timberrrrr. The market sold off today as a result of tech companies posting earnings that failed to titillate the street, China raising their interest rates to try to stave off an asset bubble that soon may be only a prick away from popping, and the rent still being too damn high. Up until now, the…
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10/14/10 Midevening Report: Foreclosure? I don’t even know her
The market was down today as foreclosure-gate threatens to shut down the foreclosure process for banks quicker than an AIDS ridden penis has shut down the porn industry, though with potentially much more dire consequences (unless that AIDS penis touched the lovely Tori Black, because Money McBags can think of no more dire consequence than…
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7/16/10 Midnight Report: A load of Bears hit
The market tumbled today like a broke Boy George on a floor covered with dong as consumer confidence continues to fade like LeBron James’ Q score or Haiti. Consumer sentiment fell to 66.5 which is the lowest since August and below the most pessimistic guesses of those not paying attention (also known as economists). The…
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6/7/10 Midafternoon Report: Hold on to your shorts as market continues on wild ride down
The market was chugging along today, taking a brief respite to lick its wounds after Friday’s jobs report gave even the most virulent Bull a bad case of Foot in the Mouth disease, until it dropped precipitously in the last half hour like Helen Thomas’ reputation at a B’nai B’rith fundraiser. With Europe’s ongoing…
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4/16/10 Midafternoon Report: Goldman Craps
Oh no they didn’t. The SEC apparently found their shriveled ballsac hidden in Meaghan Cheung’s now empty desk and hired Faye Reagan to skillfully tickle it back to life which has led the re-testosteroned agency to go after the biggest turd in the punchbowl, Goldman fucking Sachs. Holy shit is it on. The government hasn’t…
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1/20/10 Midday Report: China flexes pimp hand and vows to curb lending, businesses cower in the corner and promise to work harder for daddy
The big news bringing the market down today is that China is beginning to realize they may have a bit of a bubble on their hands as they opened up their fortune cookie last night and saw their fortune was written on the back of a yuan (as for the fortune, it said “man who…
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12/03/09 Midday Report: BAC does not need your stinking funds (well at least not until next time)
The market is abuzz today with BAC’s repayment of $45B to Uncle Sam who apparently got drunk and touched BAC in their loan loss reserves just one too many times. So to break the cycle, BAC is going to pay back their bail out funds through the profits they made by being able to borrow…