banks
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1/08/10 Midday Report: Market shakes off unemployment reports, claims those people are just lazy
The big news of the day is that the Labor Department, led by Hilda Solis whose name is an anagram for the upcoming Snoop Dogg swine flu dis track titled “Hos said ill,” came out with their jobs report for December which showed a loss of 85k jobs. This was worse than expectations and held…
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1/4/10 Midday Report: It’s 2010, yet the market is partying like it’s 1999
Hide the women and children because the market is coming back with a vengeance, like Dirty Harry Callahan or Don Knotts on Three’s Company. The market appears to be determined to show all of the traders who manufactured complex derivitaves such MBS, ABS, and plain BS, that financial engineering can only keep it down for…
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12/30/09 Midday Report: The market mimics the Alabama school system as investors close their books until the New Year
With the year coming to a close, trading is thinner than a bulimic after a good gastric banding while market news is scarcer than Paris Hilton’s panties or Bernie Madoff’s investment returns. The only real market news out today is that the Chicago ISM was released and measured a whopping 60, though it is unclear…
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12/22/09 Midday Report: GDP revised down, existing home sales up (await downward revision)
The market got mixed news today as sales of existing homes grew 7.4% to a two year high of a 6.5MM annual rate (and we thank our lucky pornstars for tax breaks, 4% lower median home prices, foreclosure sales of houses formerly owned by the unemployed, and Faye Reagan) while GDP was revised downward from…
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12/15/09 Midday Report: Porter trims forces to 4 as commodities laugh at competitive advantages
The big news today is that wholesale inflation is up 1.8% and manufacturing in the US is churning out more goods people can’t afford to buy, especially if prices have to be raised now that input costs/commodities are moving up faster than expectations (weird that expectations were wrong, though much less weird than the new…
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12/14/09 Midday Report: Abu Dhabi on a Dubai-ing spree for Christmas (or whatever the fuck they celebrate)
Before we get to the midday report, we all need to pour out a little Courvoisier (or whatever your revealed preference for drinks may be) for noted Economist Paul Samuelson who passed away at age 94 Samuelson did his best to try to bring legitimacy to the completely made up and theoretical field of study…
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12/03/09 Midday Report: BAC does not need your stinking funds (well at least not until next time)
The market is abuzz today with BAC’s repayment of $45B to Uncle Sam who apparently got drunk and touched BAC in their loan loss reserves just one too many times. So to break the cycle, BAC is going to pay back their bail out funds through the profits they made by being able to borrow…
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11/24/09 Midday Report: Stocks are down as people hate spending, unless they are spending on cheap shoes
The big news of the day is that the government revised GDP data downward and consumer spending took the brunt of it (which is how it works when consumer spending is 70% of GDP, dipshits). The new estimates are that there was a 2.8% rise in GDP from this past Q vs. the previously announced…