Bernanke
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2/24/10 Midafternoon Report: Bernanke channels his inner Greenspan and promises to keep rates low until the next bubble
Dizzam, Benny B went in front of the House Financial Services Commitee today and let everyone know that rates will be kept low for a more “extended period” than a menometrorrhagia sufferer. Despite last week’s back and forth between Bernanke and his henchman Thomas “T-Ho” Hoenig about the language used by the Fed in their…
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2/19/10 Midafternoon Report: Core inflation tame, good news for those who don’t eat or use energy
The market hung in there today despite Ben Bernanke’s surprising discount rate raise after the market closed yesterday. Bernanke continues to think outside of the box in managing the economy (and as long as it isn’t Hannah Hilton’s box, then Money McBags is fully on board because one should only think inside her box, never…
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2/18/10 Midevening Report : Bernanke preemptively raises discount rate, causes Alan Greenspan to roll over in his grave
Aw shit, it is now on like donkey kong as the Fed is getting serious about some shit. This ain’t your Greenspan pushover, lolligagging, lobster tails and blow jobs for everyone, bubble creating Federal Reserve. No siree, this Bernanke guy is a straight up pimp and will bitch slap the market back to reality and…
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2/17/10 Midevening Report: Fed hints at reversing stimulus, starts by canceling Bernanke’s Playboy subscription
The market was up today like a hooker’s skirt in Tiger Wood’s SUV. The rally was driven by earnings, earnings, earnings and some macro data. Apparently people are still building houses as housing starts hit their 6-month high, rising 2.8% to an annual rate of 591k. This marginally beat expectations and should be a good…
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2/10/10 Midday Report: Bernanke’s statement stuns meteorologists, causes it to rain on market’s parade in the middle of a snowstorm
The big news moving the market down today was the statement from Ben Bernanke about the FED’s future policy plans. Bernanke was supposed to testify in front of the House Financial Services Committee but the snow storm in Washington caused the hearing to be postponed giving Barney Frank more time to make snow angels and…
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1/29/10 Midday Report: Size doesn’t matter as 6% GDP expansion fails to stimulate the market
The market is bouncing around today even though GDP grew 5.7%, the fastest pace in 6 years and beat estimates of 4.7% growth. The upside was led by a restocking of inventories from their depressed levels (and inventories were more depressed than Kathy Griffin’s bikini waxer the time she ran out of rubber gloves). The…
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1/27/10 Midday Report: In bid to increase approval ratings, Obama to unveil Apple Tablet at State of the Union address as a panacea for US budget problems
The market continues to limp it’s way down as investors await tonight’s State of the Union address where President Obama is likely to whip out his small business tax breaks and smack them against a non-defense discretionary spending budget freeze. This budget freeze supposedly applies to 17% of the Federal budget and will have enough…
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1/25/10 Midday Report: Bernanke likely to get bipartisan support despite claiming he doesn’t swing that way
The market is trying to rally after last week’s sell off which was caused by Obama letting Paul Volcker threaten to open up a can of whoop ass on the banking system, the senate seemingly hedging on reaffirming Ben Bernanke as Chairman of the Federal Reserve proving once and for all that the Senate is…
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12/16/09 Midday Report: Inflation aint what it used to be
The market anxiously awaits Ben Bernanke’s language on interest rates today after the FOMC meeting (and at the meeting, I am told they are serving GDP growth with a side of bank lending, while the kitchen has been told explicitly to hold the Rates, make sure there is absolutely no inflation, and to not put…
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12/08/09 Midday Report: Formidable headwinds, not as good as formidable head
The news driving the market down today comes from Ben Bernanke’s speech yesterday (apparently the joke about the rabbi, the priest, and the horse did not go over well) where he warned that there are still “formidable headwinds” to an economic recovery. And in an additional exercise of overstating the obvious, he also concluded that…