case-shiller
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2/22/11 Midnight Report: Big Flaps in Mid East May Require Libyaplasty
Tim-fucking-berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Holy shit is it on like Qadaffi’s dong as protesters in Libya whip themselves up in to a frenzy over the lack of Joanna Krupa’s latest Maxim spread being available to them (or over their oppressive treatment at the hands of Qadaffi, their lack of say in the government, their non-existent job opportunities, and…
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12/28/10 Midnight Report: Consumer Confidence Falls Yet Retail Sales Rise as Christmas Miracles Continue
The market continues to putter along in the last trading week of a year that has thoroughly confused Money McBags like the subprime meltdown confused Ben Stein, the cosmological constant confused Einstein, or a grocery store freezer confused Carrie Harkness. Money McBags remains cockposterously perplexed and today was a microcosm of his befuddlement as consumer…
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10/26/10 Midevening Report: New tune for market as it B flatter than Mozart concerto
First of all, apologies for the fuckawful headline pun, but some days you simply have to play the cards you are dealt. That said, the market was quiet today as it digested marginal macro news and even more marginal earnings news while it continues to wait for next week’s QE2 which promises to be a…
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9/28/10 Midnight Report: Market stimulated by QE2 rumor. Rumor is that unlike that cocktease QE1, QE2 will provide happy ending
The market climbed today as investors all bet on the Fed continuing to manipulate its balance sheet like like RuPaul manipulates his/her junk in a gaff (and the things Money McBags had to look at while searching for that term/pic on the internet shall never be mentioned, so please laugh at that joke for the…
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7/27/10 Midafternoon Report: Consumers still confident the economy sucks
The market bounced around today as it tried to find a direction like scientists are trying to find the elusive “God particle” (though apparently scientists have figured out where it isn’t which includes Jane Austen’s writing, Bernie Madoff’s bank account, and Jamaica. But newsflash Einsteins, you might want to check Brooklyn Decker‘s vagina because if…
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6/29/10 Midevening Report: Market searches for a bottom, hopefully it’s Brooklyn Decker’s
It was ugly out there today, real ugly, like a Lady Gaga– Alan Greenspan love child with a bad case of facial neurofibromatosis. Investors are worried that China is slowing down (they are), that Europe won’t be able to roll their debt (eventually they won’t), and that US consumer spend will shrivel up like Khagendra…
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5/25/10 Midafternoon Report: Volatility causes market to go up and down faster than a time constrained fluff girl
The markets sold off hard again today until the late afternoon with the the sell off being caused by Europe going to zero, financial reform, and now fucking North Korea dropping a turd in the proverbial kimchee bowl, and the hardness being caused by the market having grabbed a workout with Amanda Carrier. So la-di-fucking-da. …
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4/27/10 Midafternoon Report: If Greece is now junk, what does that make Haiti?
The market is down today as Standard and Poor’s downgraded Portugal to a principality and Greek to junk and not the the kind in a trunk that most investors love, but good old fashioned junk. It was the first time since the advent of the Euro that a European country has lost its investment grade…
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3/30/10 Midafternoon Report: Market rests today after spending all night trying to find the afikomen
Before we get to the market news, today marks an important achievement for mankind (perhaps an even more important achievement than Brooklyn Decker) as the Hadron particle collider is finally working sending two protons smashing in to each other at 99% the speed of light. Results hope to answer some of the Universe’s most essential…
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1/26/10 Midday Report: An Apple a day will keep the recession away (especially if it’s one of those new tablets)
The market is bouncing around after Apple put up a ginormous quarter and is likely to announce their tablet on Wednesday while the global economy still sputters. In macro news, US consumer confidence rose to 55.9 from 53.6 and we all know how important it was to break that 55 barrier (actually, I’m just kidding,…