China

  • 3/12/11 Day After Report: Market Hit by a Spoogenami

    While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to a rush to the Apple stores to buy the new Hello Kitty themed iPad2), there was a spoogenami in the…

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  • Quick Update: Bustman’s Holiday

    Money McBags was out all day wearing his monkey suit to dance for the organ grinder so did he miss anything? — Holy fucking shit did the market get tossed like Gracie Glam in Whatabooty 8 thanks to new claims for unemployment claiming a lot more people are unemfuckingployed, China’s export growth slowing as Cream…

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  • 2/15/11 Midnight Report: Businesses Admit They Are Feeling Inflation But Claim Inflation Likes It

    The market was down today as retail sales disappointed (thanks to the weather, a little something called rampant unemployment, and everyone hoarding cash for the next generation of the fleshlight to be released), food prices continued to increase and spook investors as rising costs pushed 44MM more people in to poverty (though at least 13%…

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  • 2/8/11 Midnight Report: Market’s First Law of Bernankity: What Goes Up, Must Go Up

    The market rose for the 7th straight day (and the day was so straight that it wouldn’t even look at other days of the same gender, and yeah, that means you Thursday) as earnings continue to be relatively decent (until the speedboat effect of rising input prices catches up with them next Q, which is…

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  • 1/20/11 Midnight Report: When All Else Fails, Just Buy The Dip

    The market was down strong in the morning as both fears of rising inflation in China and common sense seemed to hurt sentiment, but then like a phoenix rising from the ashes (though luckily not River Phoenix rising from his ashes, because that would have been weird) investors stopped adjusting their bollinger bands, refused to…

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  • 1/15/11 Day After Report: Investors Get Longer, Hope Earnings Won’t be a Stock Tease

    The market keeps rolling because retail sales missed expectations, ratings agencies threatened to lower the US’s pristine AAA credit rating, consumer sentiment dropped, and Hannah Hilton remains retired from porn.  Makes perfect sense, like trying to borrow money while saying you are about to go bankrupt or wearing a power balance bracelet (and yes, that…

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  • 1/1/11 Midnight Report: Data Speaks Softly, Will Earnings Carry a Big Stick?

    It was a fairly quiet day on the market as investors get ready for earnings season, brace for an East Coast snow storm, and actively try to bet on which porn star Charlie Sheen will bang next (and for the record, Money McBags is taking Gracie Glam, in the kitchen, with his lead pipe).  That…

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  • 1/3/11 Midnight Report: Just Another Panic Monday for Shorts, Will Tomorrow be Their Funday?

    The market ran today like Ben Bernanke was giving out free money (which um, he kind of is, as long as you have already proven that you are untrustworthy and have bad judgment), or giving out free shares of Facebook (which at this rate will be valued higher than an original copy of Birds of…

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  • 12/13/10 Midnight Report: Market Has a Case of the Mondays

    Not much happened in the market today as volume was lighter than the audience for a Hasselhoff reality TV show (and also about 900 IQ points higher) as investors continue to sit on their laurels (and if it is this Laurel on which they are sitting, then Money McBags certainly understands) while waiting for year…

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  • 11/20/10 Midday After Report: Bernanke Lets His Hair Down

    Kind of a drab hum drum day in the market yesterday as no new countries were close to defaulting, no new IPOs of shitty companies were being sold (and yeah Harrah’s, Money McBags is looking at you), and no new news on whether Milla Jovovich will be joining her country’s burgeoning Femen movement. — With…

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