Citi
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10/14/10 Midevening Report: Foreclosure? I don’t even know her
The market was down today as foreclosure-gate threatens to shut down the foreclosure process for banks quicker than an AIDS ridden penis has shut down the porn industry, though with potentially much more dire consequences (unless that AIDS penis touched the lovely Tori Black, because Money McBags can think of no more dire consequence than…
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7/30/10 Midevening Report: GDP goes down again, claims it likes the taste
The big macro news today was that GDP slowed to 2.4% growth in Q2, that is until it’s revised down next Q to keep up with the administration’s “hold the shock and hope for no awe” strategy. This strategy was further evident in today’s release as GDP from the past 3 fucking years was revised…
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7/16/10 Midnight Report: A load of Bears hit
The market tumbled today like a broke Boy George on a floor covered with dong as consumer confidence continues to fade like LeBron James’ Q score or Haiti. Consumer sentiment fell to 66.5 which is the lowest since August and below the most pessimistic guesses of those not paying attention (also known as economists). The…
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7/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market sucks again, swallows investor gains
It was another volatile day in the market as initial jobless claims came out and were much worse than expectations which is not surprising to anyone except for those who make those expectations. Claims were up by 13k to 472k while analysts had guessed that they would drop to 452k which means on average they…
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6/29/10 Midevening Report: Market searches for a bottom, hopefully it’s Brooklyn Decker’s
It was ugly out there today, real ugly, like a Lady Gaga– Alan Greenspan love child with a bad case of facial neurofibromatosis. Investors are worried that China is slowing down (they are), that Europe won’t be able to roll their debt (eventually they won’t), and that US consumer spend will shrivel up like Khagendra…
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6/18/10 Midday Report: Gold hits new highs, silver plans an intervention
It’s quadruple witching Friday today in the market which is unfortunately just the day where stock index futures, stock index options, stock options, and single stock futures all expire and not the day where the market finally gets a 5-some with Elizabeth Montgomery, Barbara Eden, Melissa Joan Hart, and Omarrosa. While this is usually a…
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4/26/10 Midafternoon Report: Financial reform bill coming after Senators talk dirty to it
The markets were relatively flat today despite the financial sector reaching down for its cankles as the Senate prepares to probe the sectors’ cavernous derivatives loophole. Financial reform is coming, the only question is if it will be weak or really weak but until then financials should be a bit volatile with a downward bias. …
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4/19/10 Midafternoon Report: Goldman causing Wall Street to rethink how they do business, instituting “no more e-mail” rule
The market is teetering again as the big news remains the SEC’s charges of fraud against Goldman Sachs. These charges have Money McBags giddier than a emetophiliac at a Phillies game because Goldman has long been manipulating the markets while massaging the government’s taint to get away with it. The best part about this…
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4/8/10 Midday Report: Citi execs sorry they broke the economy, wipe their tears with their outsized bonuses
Money McBags is back and the markets are selling off a bit as apparently people somehow still care about Greece going bankrupt (but then again, some people also still care about the Poincare conjecture, the etymology of Star Wars languages, and saving the whales, so whatever). Seeing as how Greece hasn’t been relevant since the…
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3/29/10 Midday Report: Who needs yeast as market rises on Passover
Break out the menorahs as it’s Passover and thus time to light the candles, forgo yeast, and drink Manischewitz until the market makes sense and Mayim Bialik becomes attractive. The market is up today as economists ponder their own four questions: 1. “Why is this market different from any other market?” 2. “Why in this…