Citi
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3/11/10 Midday Report: Yield curve spread continues to fatten, claims it wants to star in Precious sequel
The market is holding steady today as foreclosures in the US rose at their slowest pace in four years. While slowing rates of foreclosures are sort of pyrrhic news similar to declining new cases of AIDS or slumping sales of country music cds, a slower rate means a slower rising homeless population and that can’t…
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2/26/10 Midafternoon Report: AIG loses more in Q4 than entire GDP of Malta, warns Botswana they’re up next
The market is a bit mixed today like the drug cocktail found in Brittany Murphy’s stomach. Sales of existing homes dropped for the second consecutive month, this time by 7.2% which is the second largest decline ever and is creating more of a buyers market than the internet did for newspapers. The decline was caused…
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1/19/10 Midday Report: Citigroup? More like Shitigroup (and yes, i’ll be here all week so don’t forget to tip the waitstaff)
The market is rising on news of Citigroup putting up another quarter so bad that even Dan Brown refused to write the press release (and that is seriously bad since that guy was more than happy to put his name on a shitstain like the DaVinci Code. And not to ruin the book for you,…
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12/14/09 Midday Report: Abu Dhabi on a Dubai-ing spree for Christmas (or whatever the fuck they celebrate)
Before we get to the midday report, we all need to pour out a little Courvoisier (or whatever your revealed preference for drinks may be) for noted Economist Paul Samuelson who passed away at age 94 Samuelson did his best to try to bring legitimacy to the completely made up and theoretical field of study…