DELL
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2/16/10 Midnight Report: The Fed’s New Slogan: Where M-Raising Happens
The market rose again today (which is actually the new permanent opening line for Money McBags’ daily column so if you want to save yourselves five minutes, just add references to unemployment, inflation, Fermat’s last theorem, and Malene Espensen, then rinse, spit, and consider the column finished). That said, the market didn’t just rise because…
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12/13/10 Midnight Report: Market Has a Case of the Mondays
Not much happened in the market today as volume was lighter than the audience for a Hasselhoff reality TV show (and also about 900 IQ points higher) as investors continue to sit on their laurels (and if it is this Laurel on which they are sitting, then Money McBags certainly understands) while waiting for year…
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11/20/10 Midday After Report: Bernanke Lets His Hair Down
Kind of a drab hum drum day in the market yesterday as no new countries were close to defaulting, no new IPOs of shitty companies were being sold (and yeah Harrah’s, Money McBags is looking at you), and no new news on whether Milla Jovovich will be joining her country’s burgeoning Femen movement. — With…
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9/2/10 Midevening Report: Investors no longer need toilet paper as economy continues to slide along bottoms
It was a relatively quiet day in the market today as bears picked up their shorts and hoped the bad men would stop pulling their alpha after yesterday’s strong move higher left their portfolios with shrinkage. The big macro news of the day was that new claims for unemployment dropped by 6k to 472k and…
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8/27/10 Midday Report: Economy GDPeed on
The market was up today despite the government lowering their forecast of Q2 GDP to 1.6%, down from the 2.4% they fabricated last month and likely up from the lower number they will make up next month in their “hold the shock and hope for no awe strategy.” Growth in the economy has now…
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8/20/10 Midevening Report: Market keeps going down, investors worry it may develop lockjaw
The market continued to stumble today as if it were Heather Mills on an inclined treadmill. With a dearth of macro news, the sell off was still a result of yesterday’s craptacular economic data where new claims for unemployment jumped, productivity in Philly shrank, and as always, Hannah Hilton remained retired (and please Hannah, come…
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5/21/10 Midafternoon Report: Market rebounds, now it needs to stop missing shots
The market was up today as apparently it has been corrected like Stevie Wonder’s vision or Larry Craig’s family values. With Europe now fixed, unemployment shrinking, and monkeys flying out Money McBags butt, it should be back to lobster tails and BJs in no time. The good news is that nothing has really changed between…
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2/19/10 Midafternoon Report: Core inflation tame, good news for those who don’t eat or use energy
The market hung in there today despite Ben Bernanke’s surprising discount rate raise after the market closed yesterday. Bernanke continues to think outside of the box in managing the economy (and as long as it isn’t Hannah Hilton’s box, then Money McBags is fully on board because one should only think inside her box, never…