FED
-
10/22/10 Midnight Report: Will Geithner’s plan at G20 hit the spot?
The market was mixed today as fears of currency wars formed the yin to earnings beats’ yang (or the teeth to earnings beats’ hummer if you will) and with macro data more non-existent than Mel Gibson’s career, there wasn’t much for the Street to manipulate. That said, a number of US officials were in the…
-
10/12/10 Midnight Report: Fed minutes count down the seconds to QE2
It was another quiet day in the market as the expectation of QE2 continues to dominate the headlines like Securities Analysis dominates the insomnia drug market or like Gabourey Sidibe dominates a doughnut (or box of doughnuts to be more precise). The market still can’t figure out what to do as investors continue to oscillate…
-
10/1/10 Midafternoon Report: SEC says Waddell and Reed caused the flash crash, also blames them for stuxnet virus, and Jay Leno’s career
The market treaded water again today as all 1,800 (give or take ~1,795) macro reports were vague enough and relatively inline enough (though absolutely out of line, like the phone number on a Chad Ochocinco cereal box or Fed Reserve Bank of Kansas City President Thomas “T Ho” Hoenig after one too many brandy snifters…
-
9/21/10 Midevening Report: Fed pushes stimulus off until later, prefers to get drunk first and find their anal beads
The market was quiet for most of the day in anticipation of a statement from the FOMC where it was thought Bennie B. may let his hair down (pun completely intended) and talk honestly (and yes that was sarcasm) about the stagnant recovery. In the end though, the Fed just gave us more of the…
-
8/27/10 Midday Report: Economy GDPeed on
The market was up today despite the government lowering their forecast of Q2 GDP to 1.6%, down from the 2.4% they fabricated last month and likely up from the lower number they will make up next month in their “hold the shock and hope for no awe strategy.” Growth in the economy has now…
-
8/26/10 Midevening Report: Market continues to sag as it lost its benefits package and can no longer afford viagra
The market was down again today because it was open and because good news seems less likely than Nouriel Roubini going long FAS or Ron Paul posing as the centerfold for the Fed’s monthly newsletter (we hear his likes would be small government, long walks on the beach, and insanity). Investors anxiously await tomorrow’s latest…
-
8/10/10 Midevening Report: Fed quantitatively eases on down the road, hopes the road doesn’t lead to deflation
The market dropped in the morning like Ted Stevens’ plane (too soon?) which Money McBags read about on the series of tubes some people call the internets (perhaps if there had been a bridge going somewhere instead of nowhere, the plane wouldn’t have been needed, but Money McBags digresses), until Ben Bernanke got his quantitative…
-
8/9/10 Midafternoon Report: The (money) shot Hurd around the world
With little macro data out today, the big news in the market is that HP CEO Mark Hurd resigned due to a sexual harrassment discrimination suit that seemed to involve less sex than Bill Clinton’s bedroom (that is when Hillary is sleeping there). Apparently Hurd hid business expenses when taking out a MILF/GMILF named Jodie…
-
7/29/10 Midevening Report: Fed warns deflation may be coming, investors run to buy protection as they don’t know who deflation slept with last
Oh shit. While most people have been spending their time worrying about the Fed printing up some inflation, Fed Bank of St. Louis President James “Jimmie B” Bullard got his academic on today and dropped some deflation all up in this bitch. And Jimmie B aint be one of those lame ass non-voting members of…
-
7/14/10 Midafternoon Report: Retail stales
Ho fucking hum. Retail sales fell again in June as stores keep trying to charge money for products and people keep not having any. Sales dropped .5% in June, though if you exclude automobiles, sales only dropped .1%, and if you go one step further and exclude anything bought in a store other than ramen…