FHCO
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8/6/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs number disappoints again as people ask “Brother, can you spare a dime, and maybe a 401k?”
The market fell for most of the day before being bizarrely bailed out at the close for no reason other than to seemingly allow Money McBags to write that alliterative phrase. The big news was that the jobs report once again disappointed like the other side of a Goldman CDO deal or Tara Reid’s plastic
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5/19/10 Midafternoon Report: VIX shoots up, claims it doesn’t have a problem, just wants to try to take its mind off global recession
The market got clobbered again today (until a closing minutes rally) like it insulted Preston Brooks’ uncle or like it had one too many shots of tequila while watching the donkey show. Investors continue to fear the impending doom of Europe with their quaint monetary system, silly accents, and love of black jeans. However, macro
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5/13/10 Midafternoon Report: Market down as Prozac prescription runs out, or common sense prevails, take your pick
The market bounced around today before closing down as it seemingly takes a breather from a week so volatile that it caused quants to come out of the closet and question their autoregressive conditional heteroskedasticity (but that is what they get for having a GARCH model and not Brooklyn Decker as the centerfold for last
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5/5/10 Midday Report: Investors celebrate May 5th with Sink-o de Marketo celebration
Buenos dias on this lovely Cinqo de Mayo as investors smack the market like a pinata in hopes of breaking it open to catch some falling CDS. Things remain ugly today as Europe is still on the verge of going bankrupt thanks to Greece’s steroidal Wimpy strategy of having a gyro today while promising to
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4/5/2010 Midday Report: iPad so awesome it even creates jobs
It’s the jobs, stupid. Good Friday was great Friday for the economy as investors got the day off to spend their hard earned dollars on cheap imported crap from China while the Labor Department released monthly data showing 162k jobs had been created. Labor Department Secretary (though Money McBags prefers the more politically correct term
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3/15/10 Midday Report: March Madness is officially here as Moody’s thinks people actually care about what they say
The market is flattish today, likely taking a breather to fill out its NCAA bracket while trying to sleep off the headache caused by Dick Vitale’s pontifications yesterday on how loving Mike Krzyzewski is post-coitus. That said, Moody’s is out warning that major economies such as the US, Germany, the UK, and Vivid Video may
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1/19/10 Midday Report: Citigroup? More like Shitigroup (and yes, i’ll be here all week so don’t forget to tip the waitstaff)
The market is rising on news of Citigroup putting up another quarter so bad that even Dan Brown refused to write the press release (and that is seriously bad since that guy was more than happy to put his name on a shitstain like the DaVinci Code. And not to ruin the book for you,