gold
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2/27/11 Two Day After Report: Will Market Win Best Actor Award for Impersonating a Healthy Economy?
Once again investors came out in full force to buy the fucking dip on Friday after learning that Qaddafi’s men opened fire on protesters in Tripoli in Moammar’s shoot first, shoot later negotiations policy, GDP was revised down to “QE3 is coming,” gold rose to over $1,400 an ounce once again making Flavor Flav’s teeth…
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6/18/10 Midday Report: Gold hits new highs, silver plans an intervention
It’s quadruple witching Friday today in the market which is unfortunately just the day where stock index futures, stock index options, stock options, and single stock futures all expire and not the day where the market finally gets a 5-some with Elizabeth Montgomery, Barbara Eden, Melissa Joan Hart, and Omarrosa. While this is usually a…
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5/12/10 Midevening Report: Gold hits record high causing a run on Flavor Flav’s teeth
The markets were on fucking fire today as investors shook off the historic drop last Thursday, apparently confident that the SEC looking in to the causes of the sell off will yield answers other than the current ones whch include: “Beats me,” “How the fuck should I know,” “and hey look, it’s Enrico Pallazzo!” The…
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1/6/10 Midday Report: A flat market at your service (sector)
The news out today is that the service sector grew, but less than expectations, so now we know how Vern Troyer’s parents felt. The ISM index of non-manufacturing jobs rose from 48.7 to 50.1 and anything over 50 signals expansion according to the arbitrary metrics measured by the index and the directionally correct economists who…