GOOG
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7/13/10 Midafternoon Report: The market is AA-ok as Alcoa foils bears
The market was off to the races today as if it the races were going to feature Usain Bolt taking on Sara Jane Underwood in the 100 meter dash with the loser having to run a lap in the buff. The big news of course was that Alcoa started off the earnings season by destroying…
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7/12/10 Midevening Report: Hefner bid titilates Playboy stock, shares bust out
There was little news in the market today as investors waited for AA’s earnings tonight as a signal of things to come as everyone knows aluminum production is what really drives the economy (and yes that was sarcasm). Without much macro news other than shit continuing to get worse with temporary census jobs ending, republicans…
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7/9/2010 Midafternoon Report: Investors get excited and take off their shorts to allow long exposure to grow
It’s a quiet day newswise and thus the market is deader than the Cleveland Cavaliers as it awaits the start of earnings season next week. Dominating the news today are non-financial matters like LeBron James betraying his home town team (and Cavs owner Dan Gilbert is said to have slept with his johnson in a…
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6/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market adopts new tagline “Sell the rumor, sell the news”
Stocks bounced around today like BP’s excuses for the Gulf oil spill or like Kelly Brook’s “oil domes” while she jumps on a trampoline. Solid US economic data pushed the market in to positive territory in the morning, giving investors a slight glimmer of hope before that hope was flushed away like a 3 story…
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5/5/10 Midday Report: Investors celebrate May 5th with Sink-o de Marketo celebration
Buenos dias on this lovely Cinqo de Mayo as investors smack the market like a pinata in hopes of breaking it open to catch some falling CDS. Things remain ugly today as Europe is still on the verge of going bankrupt thanks to Greece’s steroidal Wimpy strategy of having a gyro today while promising to…
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4/26/10 Midafternoon Report: Financial reform bill coming after Senators talk dirty to it
The markets were relatively flat today despite the financial sector reaching down for its cankles as the Senate prepares to probe the sectors’ cavernous derivatives loophole. Financial reform is coming, the only question is if it will be weak or really weak but until then financials should be a bit volatile with a downward bias. …
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4/16/10 Midafternoon Report: Goldman Craps
Oh no they didn’t. The SEC apparently found their shriveled ballsac hidden in Meaghan Cheung’s now empty desk and hired Faye Reagan to skillfully tickle it back to life which has led the re-testosteroned agency to go after the biggest turd in the punchbowl, Goldman fucking Sachs. Holy shit is it on. The government hasn’t…
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4/15/10 Midday Report: Tax day causes 53% of the US population to be pissed, other 47% pissed every day about being broke
Oh shit, just when the economy was looking better than a threesome with Hayley Atwell and Alice Eve, new jobless claims for last week rose for the second week in a row and economists didn’t have Easter to blame this time. Well, actually they did, as a government analyst once again warned that the numbers…
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4/13/10 Midafternoon Report: Alcoa opens earnings season not with a bang but a whimper
The market sold off at the open today but is climbing back like a Phoenix from the ashes or Paul Volcker’s economic reputation. Alcoa’s earnings initially brought the market down as they were a bit disappointing and Alcoa is considered to be the first bellweather company to report in this critical earnings season where baked…
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3/23/10 Midday Report: Health care bill passes causing market to turn its head and cough
Money McBags was unable to provide market insight yesterday because he was waiting in line at his doctor’s office to receive his now monthly health care rations (sorry, couldn’t resist). Since like 99.9% of Americans Money McBags hasn’t read the health care bill (though he eagerly awaits the movie, especially if Alice Eve stars as…