housing
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5/19/10 Midafternoon Report: VIX shoots up, claims it doesn’t have a problem, just wants to try to take its mind off global recession
The market got clobbered again today (until a closing minutes rally) like it insulted Preston Brooks’ uncle or like it had one too many shots of tequila while watching the donkey show. Investors continue to fear the impending doom of Europe with their quaint monetary system, silly accents, and love of black jeans. However, macro…
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5/17/10 Midafternoon Report: The Euro is falling! The Euro is falling!
The market was somehow flat today after spending most of the day down again as the perilousness of Europe’s debt situation continues to worry investors like laryngitis worries Pavarotti or like coming in to contact with Paris Hilton worries osmophobes. Not only is Europe raining ash on the market’s parade (both literally and figuratively, though…
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4/16/10 Midafternoon Report: Goldman Craps
Oh no they didn’t. The SEC apparently found their shriveled ballsac hidden in Meaghan Cheung’s now empty desk and hired Faye Reagan to skillfully tickle it back to life which has led the re-testosteroned agency to go after the biggest turd in the punchbowl, Goldman fucking Sachs. Holy shit is it on. The government hasn’t…
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4/5/2010 Midday Report: iPad so awesome it even creates jobs
It’s the jobs, stupid. Good Friday was great Friday for the economy as investors got the day off to spend their hard earned dollars on cheap imported crap from China while the Labor Department released monthly data showing 162k jobs had been created. Labor Department Secretary (though Money McBags prefers the more politically correct term…
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3/24/10 Midday Report: Port-Ugh-al
The market is down a bit today on news that some country in Europe named Portugal has had their debt rating lowered by a whole minus sign (yikes, imagine if it had been a minus sign and a frowny face) and slightly negative US macro news. New home sales came out today and boy were…
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3/16/10 Midday Report: The Fed is coming! The Fed is coming!
The market is largely in neutral today as investors await the Fed’s decision on interest rates this afternoon. With the lilkelihood of the Fed keeping rates at their current low levels somewhere between the likelihood of Michael Lewis droning on about his bond trading days in his new book or the likelihood of getting herpes…
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2/26/10 Midafternoon Report: AIG loses more in Q4 than entire GDP of Malta, warns Botswana they’re up next
The market is a bit mixed today like the drug cocktail found in Brittany Murphy’s stomach. Sales of existing homes dropped for the second consecutive month, this time by 7.2% which is the second largest decline ever and is creating more of a buyers market than the internet did for newspapers. The decline was caused…
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2/17/10 Midevening Report: Fed hints at reversing stimulus, starts by canceling Bernanke’s Playboy subscription
The market was up today like a hooker’s skirt in Tiger Wood’s SUV. The rally was driven by earnings, earnings, earnings and some macro data. Apparently people are still building houses as housing starts hit their 6-month high, rising 2.8% to an annual rate of 591k. This marginally beat expectations and should be a good…
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2/2/10 Midday Report: Volcker to Banks: “Prop trade this!”
The market is bouncing back today even though it is a relatively quiet day news wise (though not as quiet as a Lindsay Lohan straight to video movie premier or a Trappist monk game of hide and seek). Pending home sales in the US rose 1% after falling 16% last month thanks to renewed tax…
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1/27/10 Midday Report: In bid to increase approval ratings, Obama to unveil Apple Tablet at State of the Union address as a panacea for US budget problems
The market continues to limp it’s way down as investors await tonight’s State of the Union address where President Obama is likely to whip out his small business tax breaks and smack them against a non-defense discretionary spending budget freeze. This budget freeze supposedly applies to 17% of the Federal budget and will have enough…