Ireland
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2/2/11 Midnight Report: Mubarak Challenges Quantitative Easing for Title of Biggest Pyramid Scheme
The market was relatively quiet today as protesters in Egypt clashed with pro-government supporters (apparently one group wore plaid and another wore stripes, how gauche), earnings were more mixed than a Barack Obama-John Kerry love child (and with a terrific radio voice to boot), and investors gathered around their TVs to see if Lloyd Blankfein…
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12/20/10 Midnight Report: Will the Economy Go Buy Buy During this Holiday Season?
The market crept up again today like Jessica Simpson’s pants or like Pete Townshend at a boy scout overnight (though all for research, wink wink). With the year ending next week and investor’s preparing for tonight’s lunar eclipse where the Earth will happily play Lucky Pierre between the Moon and the Sun (and this hasn’t…
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12/18/10 Day After Report: Tax Bill Signed, to be Known as “Misery Compromise”
With market news quieter than a prisoner’s dilemma that actually reaches a Pareto efficient Nash equilibrium, and even quieter than the “Free Bernie Madoff” campaign, Money McBags had time to ponder some of biggest questions of the day. — He wondered why there wasn’t more flashing in the flash crash? Why they give out degrees…
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11/23/10 Midnight Report: Fed Minutes Show Only Hours Until Dollars’ Demise as the Economy Will Be The Real Turkey This Thanksgiving
The market is limping in to Thanksgiving like Kenny Easterday with a broken wrist thanks to the European Union being on shakier ground than Gabourey Sidibe on a tight rope, North Korea dropping bombs on South Korea after South Korea’s TSA apparently tried to touch Kim Jong-ils junk, and the Fed releasing the minutes from…
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11/20/10 Midday After Report: Bernanke Lets His Hair Down
Kind of a drab hum drum day in the market yesterday as no new countries were close to defaulting, no new IPOs of shitty companies were being sold (and yeah Harrah’s, Money McBags is looking at you), and no new news on whether Milla Jovovich will be joining her country’s burgeoning Femen movement. — With…
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11/18/10 Midnight Report: A Bailout a Day Keeps the Sanity Away
The market absolutely flew today as if it were late to the only showing of Natalie Portman’s first lesbian scene thanks to a European country needing to be rescued from the brink of bankruptcy, retail investors being able to buy stock again in one of the shittiest companies ever, and marginal to absurd macro data…
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11/17/10 Midnight Report: Will Erin Go Bragh, Erin Go Bust?
The market quieted down today as European investors apparently have turned their focus from Ireland’s spiraling deficit to wondering if they will be charged international rates for voting in Argentina’s Dancing with the Stars while also strangely trying to find out who killed Tycho Brahe (and for the record, Money McBags is going with Johannes…
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11/16/10 Midevening Report: The Suck of the Irish
The market crumbled today like Charles Rangel’s reputation as apparently Europe went through the TSA’s new back-scatter x-ray machine and was revealed to have a severely dangling Ireland. In addition to Europe being on the verge of another meltdown (or just a continuation of their previous one), China is trying to regulate inflation, and the…
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11/15/10 Midnight Report: Retail Sales Rotten at the Core
A flurry of buyouts, headline-y good macro news (just don’t read the “not so” fine print), and the Fed promising to print enough dollars to make everyone a millionaire as Bernanke mimics the First Citiwide Change Bank “volume” strategy, caused investors to celebrate in the morning by doing the Dougie. However, the market slipped end…
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11/11/10 Midnight Report: Nuthin’ but a G-20 Thang
The market slid today as Cisco spooked investors with a bad Q as they are still struggling to come up with a hit after the Thong Song, the G20 meetings proved to be less positive than a Helen Thomas pregnancy test, and macro news was more non-existent than dark matter (for now), as bond markets,…