Ireland
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10/7/10 Midnight Report: Market flat enough to be part of the itty bitty returns committee
The market closed moderately down today as investors, gamblers, and algorithms everywhere await tomorrow’s jobs report which will likely be as telling as one of Eddie Long’s altar boys (well for the ten or so years prior to this one) because thanks to the delightful birth/death model (where the output is more hard-coded than the…
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9/30/10 Midevening Report: Stocks end higher for the Q as HFTs continue to be their pusher
The market was relatively flat today as investors were focused on figuring out how to build rocket ships to reach the newly found Goldilocks planet (where the distance from a star, surface area, and moon position are all just right to make it potentially habitable) to start a new economy as the current one is…
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9/28/10 Midnight Report: Market stimulated by QE2 rumor. Rumor is that unlike that cocktease QE1, QE2 will provide happy ending
The market climbed today as investors all bet on the Fed continuing to manipulate its balance sheet like like RuPaul manipulates his/her junk in a gaff (and the things Money McBags had to look at while searching for that term/pic on the internet shall never be mentioned, so please laugh at that joke for the…
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9/27/10 Midnight Report: M&A market remains hotter than Sasha Grey in Grand Theft Anal (though with slightly less hair pulling)
Money McBags is back after taking a mental health day on Friday because writing 1k-1.5k words a day of fresh material, analysis, and dick jokes about the market is not quite as easy as it sounds, especially as Money McBags takes his work very seriously (see, he could throw up just any picture of Odette…
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9/23/10 Midevening Report: Housing and employment continue to struggle, but at least we have our healthcare
Ho fucking hum. Another day with more of the same news including bad unemployment numbers, bad housing data, and likely bad promises of a still unreleased Karissa Shannon sex tape (and it’s not even the one Money McBags wants to see). Excuse me while Money McBags yawns as how is he supposed to write dick…
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9/21/10 Midevening Report: Fed pushes stimulus off until later, prefers to get drunk first and find their anal beads
The market was quiet for most of the day in anticipation of a statement from the FOMC where it was thought Bennie B. may let his hair down (pun completely intended) and talk honestly (and yes that was sarcasm) about the stagnant recovery. In the end though, the Fed just gave us more of the…
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9/17/10 Midafternoon Report: Surprisingly strong RIMM job fails to stimulate the market
Volume was low today and the market was flat on a mundane “quadruple witching” Friday (and it is called that because all kinds of futures contracts and stock options expired today and not because Alan Greenspan’s guest appearance on Charmed was being rerun). The big macro news of the day was that consumer confidence fell…
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7/19/10 Midevening Report: Stocks higher as earnings more highly anticipated than the last thing that wound up disappointing everyone
The market sagged today like a droopy catenary with a very low value of “a” or Uma Thurman on vacation, before gaining some steam in the afternoon. With earnings season started, macro data was lighter than Ben Stein’s reputation as an economist or sales of Liberace’s last book: “How not to get AIDS and die.” …