ISM
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11/1/10 Midnight Report: The Calm Before The (Shit) Storm
The market ran in the morning today on the strength of China manufacturing the fuck out of some shit before falling in the afternoon after realizing that most Americans can no longer afford to buy the fuck out of that same shit (except of course for iPhones, because no matter how poor people get, they…
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9/1/10 Midevening Report: Manufacture this!
Rally!!!!!!!!!! With the war in Iraq over, manufacturing data around the world showing more buoyancy than Archimedes’ “principle” in a bowl of jello, and warts finally shown to be unrelated to herpes (which means Paris Hilton now needs to look for two culprits as opposed to just one), the double dip has apparently been averted…
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8/4/10 Midevening Report: Market continues moving on up, can now afford eastside deluxe apartment in the sky
The stock market crept up again today as the equity markets and bond markets continue to decouple like Bristol and Levi, Mel Gibson and sanity, or Carrie Prejean and her top. In terms of macro news, the ISM released their report on the services sector and it both beat analyst guesses of 53 by coming…
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7/6/10 Midafternoon Report: Heat wave melts market rally, or maybe it was common sense
Holy crap is it hot out today. It’s so hot that the only difference between the East Coast and hell is that Jim Cramer isn’t in hell, yet. Anyway, the market was rebounding a bit after downing several vials of muscle relaxant to help cure the severe case of lockjaw it developed from going down…
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6/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market adopts new tagline “Sell the rumor, sell the news”
Stocks bounced around today like BP’s excuses for the Gulf oil spill or like Kelly Brook’s “oil domes” while she jumps on a trampoline. Solid US economic data pushed the market in to positive territory in the morning, giving investors a slight glimmer of hope before that hope was flushed away like a 3 story…
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5/5/10 Midday Report: Investors celebrate May 5th with Sink-o de Marketo celebration
Buenos dias on this lovely Cinqo de Mayo as investors smack the market like a pinata in hopes of breaking it open to catch some falling CDS. Things remain ugly today as Europe is still on the verge of going bankrupt thanks to Greece’s steroidal Wimpy strategy of having a gyro today while promising to…
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4/1/10 Midafternoon Report: A disappointing RIMM job
Before we get to the markets, Money McBags found a picture of the hottest female in the history of history and wanted to share it with his readers as a sign of his gratitude. This is the hottest female ever*, so you’re welcome. Anyway, stocks are up today as macro data was more encouraging than…
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3/1/10 Midevening Report: Semis conduct market higher, next up, Beethoven’s Fifth
Wow. The market ripped up today like it was competing for the Ansari X Prize in 2004 or like it was rushing to claim the last seat in a dream Hayley Atwell–Kate Bosworth Ultimate Surrender match (nsfw, unless your work doesn’t suck). Technology led the way thanks to an upbeat report on chip sales and…
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2/3/10 Midafternoon Report: Market seeking direction like troubled teen in ABC afterschool special, though with less crying and less Meredith Baxter Birney
The market is mostly lower today despite some moderately postive macro reports (moderately positive in the way that learning you have syphilis is moderately more positive than learning you have nut cancer). The ISM said the service industry expanded in January for the first time in three months, which may be one reason RICK is…
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2/1/10 Midday Report: Pat Sajak miffed as $3.8T budget allows government to buy as many vowels as they’d like.
Obama’s budget is out and it looks like more stimulus is coming as the administration continues to try to sweep the recession under the rug (though I hear it is a delightful afgahn this time as Mrs. Obama has uncomparable taste). The budget is roughly $3.8T which is equivalent to 190MM lap dances or as…