Jobs
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3/12/11 Day After Report: Market Hit by a Spoogenami
While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to a rush to the Apple stores to buy the new Hello Kitty themed iPad2), there was a spoogenami in the…
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11/9/10 Midevening Report: As QE2 Hangover Wears Off, Will Market Wake Up in A Pool of Its Own Volatility
It was another lackluster day in the market as investors are still trying to regain their bearings from last week’s quadruple news high of elections, QE2, the jobs report, and Kat Dennings nude photos being released. With all of the excitement of those events more than priced in to the market, investors have spent the…
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8/6/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs number disappoints again as people ask “Brother, can you spare a dime, and maybe a 401k?”
The market fell for most of the day before being bizarrely bailed out at the close for no reason other than to seemingly allow Money McBags to write that alliterative phrase. The big news was that the jobs report once again disappointed like the other side of a Goldman CDO deal or Tara Reid’s plastic…
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7/2/10 Midafternoon Report: More bad macro data leaves US worker in desperate need of a hand, job
Money McBags was initially in a good mood this morning as when he was scouring the internet for news/data/information, he learned that Wonder Woman was turning a delicious 69 (and it is news like that for which Money McBags lives), but then the jobs number came out and didn’t just put a turd in his…
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6/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs report challenges Marmaduke movie for biggest bomb released on Friday
The (No) Labor Department’s jobs report came out today and was well below analyst guesses which sent the market tumbling like Tony Hayward’s Q score at a Greenpeace convention. The US added 431k jobs in May which was the biggest increase in a single month in over a decade since the internet was founded and…
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4/5/2010 Midday Report: iPad so awesome it even creates jobs
It’s the jobs, stupid. Good Friday was great Friday for the economy as investors got the day off to spend their hard earned dollars on cheap imported crap from China while the Labor Department released monthly data showing 162k jobs had been created. Labor Department Secretary (though Money McBags prefers the more politically correct term…
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3/3/10 Midday Report: Service sector expands thus providing most valuable service: A rising market
The market is up again as the service industry grew more than forecast last month thanks to more people stopping off at McDonalds on their way to the unemployment office and then washing their sorrows away by watching touching interpretative dances at their local Rick’s Cabaret in order to warm the cockles of their jobless…
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2/4/10 Midday Report: Market shows Paris Hilton isn’t the only thing that can go down
Tim-motherfucking-ber. The market is nosediving today like a Biggest Loser contestant going after the last gravy covered deep fried twinkie at an all you can eat “stuff that’s bad” for you bar (and no offense to you weight-challenged people out there, but did you really need to go on a TV show to figure out…
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2/3/10 Midafternoon Report: Market seeking direction like troubled teen in ABC afterschool special, though with less crying and less Meredith Baxter Birney
The market is mostly lower today despite some moderately postive macro reports (moderately positive in the way that learning you have syphilis is moderately more positive than learning you have nut cancer). The ISM said the service industry expanded in January for the first time in three months, which may be one reason RICK is…
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12/24/09 Mid-Morning Report: It’s Christmas Eve, can a jew get a table dance?
Yes Money McBags lights the menorah and it looks like the market wants him to get those table dances tonight as it is up again on positively mixed news. Durable goods orders rose, though missed expectations with weakness in autos and airplanes which is not suurprising since “Cash for Clunkers” went away like Tom DeLay’s…