KITD
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5/5/10 Midday Report: Investors celebrate May 5th with Sink-o de Marketo celebration
Buenos dias on this lovely Cinqo de Mayo as investors smack the market like a pinata in hopes of breaking it open to catch some falling CDS. Things remain ugly today as Europe is still on the verge of going bankrupt thanks to Greece’s steroidal Wimpy strategy of having a gyro today while promising to
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4/29/10 Midday Report: HP thinks it bought a rosy PALM, no word on whether they will also buy her five sisters
The rally is back on thanks to solid earnings, Greece likely getting bailed out again (for now), and the FED reaffirming their promise to keep rates low until the next bubble. Not only that, but new claims for unemployment were down by 11k which was just shy of analyst guesses and just shy of asking
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4/22/10 Midday Report: Market struggles to find green on Earth Day thanks in part to the new planet threatening phenomenon of Goldman Warning
It’s Earth Day which means Al Gore is likely so giddy that he is rolling around the back seat of his electric car while warming his globes to thoughts of Susan Solomon’s ozone hole and Carmella Bing’s flourescent bulbs. And sadly, while all of this is happening, somewhere a polar bear dies. Anyway, the market
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4/21/10 Midday Report: You can not stop AAPL, you can only hope to contain them
The news today is earnings, earnings, earnings, and Sophie Turner. The markets are inching up after a strong slate of mostly positive earnings reports (not so fast AT&T and GILD). However, before we get to earnings which featured Apple taking other handset makers out to eat, getting them drunk, and then giving them a cleveland
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4/9/10 Midafternoon Report: Greek bail out back on causing market to fly like Icarus (though hopefully not quite as close to the sun)
The markets are higher today as fears of a Greek blow up subside for about the 69th time which is one more time than Ben Bernanke has taken an “accomodative stance” for the market in the past two months (and Money McBags isn’t quite sure what that means). In macro news, Retail sales were out
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4/8/10 Midday Report: Citi execs sorry they broke the economy, wipe their tears with their outsized bonuses
Money McBags is back and the markets are selling off a bit as apparently people somehow still care about Greece going bankrupt (but then again, some people also still care about the Poincare conjecture, the etymology of Star Wars languages, and saving the whales, so whatever). Seeing as how Greece hasn’t been relevant since the
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3/30/10 Midafternoon Report: Market rests today after spending all night trying to find the afikomen
Before we get to the market news, today marks an important achievement for mankind (perhaps an even more important achievement than Brooklyn Decker) as the Hadron particle collider is finally working sending two protons smashing in to each other at 99% the speed of light. Results hope to answer some of the Universe’s most essential
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3/29/10 Midday Report: Who needs yeast as market rises on Passover
Break out the menorahs as it’s Passover and thus time to light the candles, forgo yeast, and drink Manischewitz until the market makes sense and Mayim Bialik becomes attractive. The market is up today as economists ponder their own four questions: 1. “Why is this market different from any other market?” 2. “Why in this
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3/26/10 Midday Report: GDP revised down, Market revised up
The market is up again today and as far as Money McBags can tell the main reason is that it is open. There was a flurry of economic data released today, all of it inline, further signalling the stagnation of the recovery from a potential V-shape to a Bea Arthur-esque flatline (which is of course
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3/17/10 Midday Report: With PPI down, optometrists now try to tackle conjunctivitis
The market is moving up again today as to the surprise of none, the Fed held rates near zero yesterday while restating their intention of keeping them low for an “extended period” (known as their menorrhagia strategy). The Fed did say they will stop buying MBS now that they have successfully kept home prices inflated,