KITD
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3/16/10 Midday Report: The Fed is coming! The Fed is coming!
The market is largely in neutral today as investors await the Fed’s decision on interest rates this afternoon. With the lilkelihood of the Fed keeping rates at their current low levels somewhere between the likelihood of Michael Lewis droning on about his bond trading days in his new book or the likelihood of getting herpes
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3/3/10 Midday Report: Service sector expands thus providing most valuable service: A rising market
The market is up again as the service industry grew more than forecast last month thanks to more people stopping off at McDonalds on their way to the unemployment office and then washing their sorrows away by watching touching interpretative dances at their local Rick’s Cabaret in order to warm the cockles of their jobless
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2/23/10 Midafternoon Report: Consumers are very confident in the economy getting shittier
The market has hit a speed bump today as consumer confidence fell to its lowest level in 10 months. Consumers are now less confident than a slightly overweight 16 year old girl with bad acne and a spastic colon on her first day in a new school. The confidence index dropped to 46, which is
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2/22/10 Midday Report: M&A picking up as small companies take out their diaphrams hoping to trap acquirers before rates increase
The market is running in place today as it awaits further earnings and macro news later this week. The big M&A news today is that Schlumberger is buying Smith International for $11B, while the big T&A news today is that Rhian Sugden is hot. Schlumberger, which sounds like what is served for lunch in Berlin
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2/11/10 Midday Report: EU says they will bail Greek out but offers few details, claims they were drunk at the time
The Greek debt crisis in Europe is still causing uncertainty in the markets as the leaders of the EU gave a tepid, vague, and Spicoli-ian response to their discussions and plans to bailout the Greeks. The president of the EU, some guy named Jose Barroso who also doubles as the Prime Minister of some place
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1/20/10 Midday Report: China flexes pimp hand and vows to curb lending, businesses cower in the corner and promise to work harder for daddy
The big news bringing the market down today is that China is beginning to realize they may have a bit of a bubble on their hands as they opened up their fortune cookie last night and saw their fortune was written on the back of a yuan (as for the fortune, it said “man who