Midday report
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1/29/10 Midday Report: Size doesn’t matter as 6% GDP expansion fails to stimulate the market
The market is bouncing around today even though GDP grew 5.7%, the fastest pace in 6 years and beat estimates of 4.7% growth. The upside was led by a restocking of inventories from their depressed levels (and inventories were more depressed than Kathy Griffin’s bikini waxer the time she ran out of rubber gloves). The…
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1/26/10 Midday Report: An Apple a day will keep the recession away (especially if it’s one of those new tablets)
The market is bouncing around after Apple put up a ginormous quarter and is likely to announce their tablet on Wednesday while the global economy still sputters. In macro news, US consumer confidence rose to 55.9 from 53.6 and we all know how important it was to break that 55 barrier (actually, I’m just kidding,…
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1/25/10 Midday Report: Bernanke likely to get bipartisan support despite claiming he doesn’t swing that way
The market is trying to rally after last week’s sell off which was caused by Obama letting Paul Volcker threaten to open up a can of whoop ass on the banking system, the senate seemingly hedging on reaffirming Ben Bernanke as Chairman of the Federal Reserve proving once and for all that the Senate is…
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1/21/10 Midday Report: With healthcare solved, Obama to take on banking industry
The big news spooking the market today is Obama’s unknown plan to try to regulate banks. He is now said to be giving former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker the keys to palace and Volcker is rumored to be getting all Glass-Steagall on bankers’s asses telling them they can’t trade financial securities using their own deposits. …
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1/20/10 Midday Report: China flexes pimp hand and vows to curb lending, businesses cower in the corner and promise to work harder for daddy
The big news bringing the market down today is that China is beginning to realize they may have a bit of a bubble on their hands as they opened up their fortune cookie last night and saw their fortune was written on the back of a yuan (as for the fortune, it said “man who…
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1/19/10 Midday Report: Citigroup? More like Shitigroup (and yes, i’ll be here all week so don’t forget to tip the waitstaff)
The market is rising on news of Citigroup putting up another quarter so bad that even Dan Brown refused to write the press release (and that is seriously bad since that guy was more than happy to put his name on a shitstain like the DaVinci Code. And not to ruin the book for you,…
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1/15/10 Midday Report: JPM sends the market down on estimate beat, promises to do worse next time
It is a bizarre day on the market today as INTC crushed numbers and is down, JP Morgan turned a huge profit, yet disappointed, and the dollar actually gained last night as apparently Amanda Drury was at the New York Rick’s Cabaret and only accepted the local currency (ok, the last one may not have…
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1/14/10 Midday Report: Market taunts macroeconomy, tells it to go back to its room until it comes out with a better number
The macro news today mostly missed expectations, but the market seems to be shrugging it off like an alcoholic shrugs off a jagermeister induced hangover (and that is by taking a massive dump and then getting back on the wagon). Retail sales were down .3% for the month of December, while expectations were for a…
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1/13/10 Midday Report: Google threatens to pull out of China, claims “not properly protected,” but does offer to finish on China’s back
With macro news today apparently scarcer than free speech in Chinese search engines or free standing buildings in Haiti (too soon?), the big news moving the market is Google’s threat to leave China after China left the toilet seat up one too many times and refused to take out the trash. Google’s panties are currently…
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1/12/10 Midday Report: China trying to cool economy, hires Justin Timberlake to dole out stimulus funds
The big macro news today is that China raised the reserve ratio that banks need to hold aside as deposits, signalling that China’s central bank is starting to become acutely aware of inflation concerns (whereas the world is starting to become acutely aware of Christina Hendricks‘ “concerns”). Given that China is going to spend roughly…