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1/26/11 Midnight Report: If a Fed Statement Falls During a Rally, Does it Make a Noise?
The market continued to rally today as the Fed voted to keep QE2 going (something about the economy being shitty, so rally on), bankers at Davos figuratively whipped out their cocks (which now seem so much smaller since they no longer get to mark to market) and pontificated about how regulation is bad for their…
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1/12/11 Midnight Report: Quick Update for the Readers
Money McBags isn’t going to be able to get to a full column today because other shit has come up (and it’s not just up because he found Olivia Munn’s new Maxim photo shoot). Money McBags knows his column has been a bit sporadic since he hit his one year anniversary (and loyal readers know…
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12/15/10 Midnight Report: Rich Guys Vote To Extend Tax Cuts For Rich, Laughter Trickles Down to Middle Class
The market continued to move sideways today as economic data was less relevant than Bernie Madoff’s thoughts on the CAPM and fund managers don’t want to rock the boat (though they’ll happily tickle the little man inside of it) this close to year end bonuses. This lack of volatility in the market is less surprising…
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11/17/10 Midnight Report: Will Erin Go Bragh, Erin Go Bust?
The market quieted down today as European investors apparently have turned their focus from Ireland’s spiraling deficit to wondering if they will be charged international rates for voting in Argentina’s Dancing with the Stars while also strangely trying to find out who killed Tycho Brahe (and for the record, Money McBags is going with Johannes…
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11/10/10 Midnight Report: Will Obama be Seoul Man Defending Fed at G20
Marginal macro news, the upcoming G20 meetings, rising commodity margins, and enough uncertainty to make even Heisenberg jealous had the market once again bobbing up and down like Shyla Stylez trying to make her rent. We remain at a confusing time with economic data saying the market should go down (that economic data being a U6 unemployment…
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10/20/10 Midnight Report: Market rallies again to the beat of algo-rhythm and Qs
The market rally was back on today with stocks shooting up faster than Ben Bernanke could chant “quantitative easing” over his bubbling cauldron (though he was heard incanting: “Double, double toil and trouble; Dollar burn, and assets bubble“) and faster than Sofia Vergara‘s son’s popularity on take your mom to school day. That said, with…
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9/29/10 Midnight Report: To QE or not to QE – that is the already determined question
The market was relatively quiet today as QE2 continues to dominate the financial headlines like Pablo Picasso dominated the cubist scene in the early 1900s (and the current disjointed and broken market is perhaps an homage to the long gone cubists) or Eugene Fama dominated the Chicago school of thought in the 1970s with his…
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9/15/10 Midevening Report: S&P hits 5 week high even as macro data tries to hold an intervention
The market was up again today as Europe remains solvent and investors ignore macro data and instead focus on how they can become race car drivers. In economic news, production in the US slowed as automakers held back on churning out new cars due to a little something called a consumer fucking recession. Not only…
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9/8/10 Midevening Report: Read My Lips: “Fuck you, rich people”
The market was up today as either it’s opposite day or we have finally reached the foretold Idiocracy since according to the Fed, the economy is showing “widespread signs of deceleration” (and that phrase is about as positive for the market as Magic Johnson being out of condoms is for one of his groupies). But…
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8/18/10 Midnight Report: Market flatter than 13 year old girl in honor of Roman Polanski’s birthday
The market was up modestly today as earnings were mixed and macro data was as non-existent as leprechauns, free will, and married women who swallow. Seriously, macro data was more fallow than Betty White’s uterus so investors were left to sift through earnings reports and finally get around to petitioning the CFA society for their…