new claims for unemployment
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12/30/10 Midnight Report: Relatively Positive Macro Data Tries to Give 2010 a Happy Ending
2010 is going out with a bang as every piece of data beat guesses today including new claims for unemployment, pending home sales, and days until Christine O’Donnell was once again found out to be a fraud (and note to FBI agents, if you’re looking for where she may have hidden misappropriated funds, you might
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12/16/10 Midnight Report: Market Reaches Two Year High, Will Data Hold an Intervention?
The market was up today as PIMCO is set to get their equity on, Fed Ex plans to deliver a fuckload of packages in the next year (even more packages than Victoria Givens took for delivery in 2004, and like all proper businesses, she required they all be delivered in the rear), and former Obama
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11/18/10 Midnight Report: A Bailout a Day Keeps the Sanity Away
The market absolutely flew today as if it were late to the only showing of Natalie Portman’s first lesbian scene thanks to a European country needing to be rescued from the brink of bankruptcy, retail investors being able to buy stock again in one of the shittiest companies ever, and marginal to absurd macro data
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11/10/10 Midnight Report: Will Obama be Seoul Man Defending Fed at G20
Marginal macro news, the upcoming G20 meetings, rising commodity margins, and enough uncertainty to make even Heisenberg jealous had the market once again bobbing up and down like Shyla Stylez trying to make her rent. We remain at a confusing time with economic data saying the market should go down (that economic data being a U6 unemployment
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10/28/10 Midnight Report: Investors debate size of QE2 and wonder if it will suffer from shrinkage
The market held steady today as headline-y good macro news was mixed with a dose of disappointing earnings news and topped off with a healthy heaping of who gives a shit. That’s because with mid-term elections looming and everyone waiting to see the details of QE2 (which is now the most anticipated market event since
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10/21/10 Midnight Report: The market weebles and it wobbles but the Fed won’t let it fall down
A funny thing happened on the way to the frontrun today as after a huge opening driven by slightly positive relative macro data and NFLX’s jizztacular earnings, the market dove on no real discernible news other than maybe investors waking up to just about EVERY FUCKING PIECE OF ECONOMIC DATA released in the last few
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10/14/10 Midevening Report: Foreclosure? I don’t even know her
The market was down today as foreclosure-gate threatens to shut down the foreclosure process for banks quicker than an AIDS ridden penis has shut down the porn industry, though with potentially much more dire consequences (unless that AIDS penis touched the lovely Tori Black, because Money McBags can think of no more dire consequence than
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10/7/10 Midnight Report: Market flat enough to be part of the itty bitty returns committee
The market closed moderately down today as investors, gamblers, and algorithms everywhere await tomorrow’s jobs report which will likely be as telling as one of Eddie Long’s altar boys (well for the ten or so years prior to this one) because thanks to the delightful birth/death model (where the output is more hard-coded than the
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9/30/10 Midevening Report: Stocks end higher for the Q as HFTs continue to be their pusher
The market was relatively flat today as investors were focused on figuring out how to build rocket ships to reach the newly found Goldilocks planet (where the distance from a star, surface area, and moon position are all just right to make it potentially habitable) to start a new economy as the current one is
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9/23/10 Midevening Report: Housing and employment continue to struggle, but at least we have our healthcare
Ho fucking hum. Another day with more of the same news including bad unemployment numbers, bad housing data, and likely bad promises of a still unreleased Karissa Shannon sex tape (and it’s not even the one Money McBags wants to see). Excuse me while Money McBags yawns as how is he supposed to write dick