Obama
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4/12/11 Midnight Report: Macro News Blows, But Will it Swallow the Market’s Momentum?
The market traded down today as earnings season began not with a bang, or a whimper, but with a Kirstie Alley-esque thud as AA missed revenue guesses (and the 6% drop in the stock likely caused some AA investors to fall off the wagon), Japan’s market fell again as the severity of the nuclear disaster…
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4/4/11 Midnight Report: Will March’s Madness lead to April Fools?
Today was a quiet day in the market (even quieter than Bernie Madoff’s trading floor on a triple witching Friday or a Money McBags column without the dick jokes) as investors bask in the fictitious and marginally above consensus guessed jobs numbers from Friday (and if you missed it, Money McBags dove in to the…
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A Visit From St. Bernanke
— Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the White House Not a politician was stirring, not even a louse; The economy was flung by Timmy without care, In hopes that St. Bernanke soon would be there; — The regulators were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of trannies danced in their…
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12/18/10 Day After Report: Tax Bill Signed, to be Known as “Misery Compromise”
With market news quieter than a prisoner’s dilemma that actually reaches a Pareto efficient Nash equilibrium, and even quieter than the “Free Bernie Madoff” campaign, Money McBags had time to ponder some of biggest questions of the day. — He wondered why there wasn’t more flashing in the flash crash? Why they give out degrees…
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11/10/10 Midnight Report: Will Obama be Seoul Man Defending Fed at G20
Marginal macro news, the upcoming G20 meetings, rising commodity margins, and enough uncertainty to make even Heisenberg jealous had the market once again bobbing up and down like Shyla Stylez trying to make her rent. We remain at a confusing time with economic data saying the market should go down (that economic data being a U6 unemployment…
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9/8/10 Midevening Report: Read My Lips: “Fuck you, rich people”
The market was up today as either it’s opposite day or we have finally reached the foretold Idiocracy since according to the Fed, the economy is showing “widespread signs of deceleration” (and that phrase is about as positive for the market as Magic Johnson being out of condoms is for one of his groupies). But…
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2/1/10 Midday Report: Pat Sajak miffed as $3.8T budget allows government to buy as many vowels as they’d like.
Obama’s budget is out and it looks like more stimulus is coming as the administration continues to try to sweep the recession under the rug (though I hear it is a delightful afgahn this time as Mrs. Obama has uncomparable taste). The budget is roughly $3.8T which is equivalent to 190MM lap dances or as…
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1/27/10 Midday Report: In bid to increase approval ratings, Obama to unveil Apple Tablet at State of the Union address as a panacea for US budget problems
The market continues to limp it’s way down as investors await tonight’s State of the Union address where President Obama is likely to whip out his small business tax breaks and smack them against a non-defense discretionary spending budget freeze. This budget freeze supposedly applies to 17% of the Federal budget and will have enough…
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1/22/10 Midday Report: Volcker? I hardly even know her.
The market continues to sell off as fears grow that Obama’s financial service regulation will limit the profitability of the banks who nearly destroyed the global financial system. How fucking dare he try to regulate these fine bastions of our economy who did nothing to deserve this other than invent complex derivatives based on loans…