QCOR
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6/25/10 Midafternoon Report: New finance legislation may cause banks to find different ways to screw customers
The market is up today after congress reached an agreement on legislation to better regulate the financial services industry after only two short years of debate and an economy that people have less faith in than Scientology. The legislation, being called the Dodd-Frank bill (and Money McBags only laments that Senator Tim Johnson did not…
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6/16/10 Midday Report: BP sets aside $20B to be used on an oily day
First of all, Money McBags would like to thank all of you for your feedback yesterday. His inbox is currently overflowing like Whitezilla’s urethra after downing three cases of Mountain Dew in ten minutes (and feel free to google “Whitezilla” on your own time, Money McBags refuses to link to it due to good taste)…
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6/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market adopts new tagline “Sell the rumor, sell the news”
Stocks bounced around today like BP’s excuses for the Gulf oil spill or like Kelly Brook’s “oil domes” while she jumps on a trampoline. Solid US economic data pushed the market in to positive territory in the morning, giving investors a slight glimmer of hope before that hope was flushed away like a 3 story…
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4/30/10 Midday Report: Biggest swinging dick on the Street may land in aptly named penal colony as criminal investigation launches on Goldman
The markets are down today due to mostly inline GDP, more shenanigans in Greece, further investigation in to Goldman Sachs, and gravity. GDP for Q1 was released and the economy expanded by 3.2% thanks to consumer spending which was up 3.6% and interestingly enough coincided with the release of KFC’s Double Down thereby spiking sales…
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3/29/10 Midday Report: Who needs yeast as market rises on Passover
Break out the menorahs as it’s Passover and thus time to light the candles, forgo yeast, and drink Manischewitz until the market makes sense and Mayim Bialik becomes attractive. The market is up today as economists ponder their own four questions: 1. “Why is this market different from any other market?” 2. “Why in this…
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3/3/10 Midday Report: Service sector expands thus providing most valuable service: A rising market
The market is up again as the service industry grew more than forecast last month thanks to more people stopping off at McDonalds on their way to the unemployment office and then washing their sorrows away by watching touching interpretative dances at their local Rick’s Cabaret in order to warm the cockles of their jobless…
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12/24/09 Mid-Morning Report: It’s Christmas Eve, can a jew get a table dance?
Yes Money McBags lights the menorah and it looks like the market wants him to get those table dances tonight as it is up again on positively mixed news. Durable goods orders rose, though missed expectations with weakness in autos and airplanes which is not suurprising since “Cash for Clunkers” went away like Tom DeLay’s…