retail sales
-
3/12/11 Day After Report: Market Hit by a Spoogenami
While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to a rush to the Apple stores to buy the new Hello Kitty themed iPad2), there was a spoogenami in the…
-
2/15/11 Midnight Report: Businesses Admit They Are Feeling Inflation But Claim Inflation Likes It
The market was down today as retail sales disappointed (thanks to the weather, a little something called rampant unemployment, and everyone hoarding cash for the next generation of the fleshlight to be released), food prices continued to increase and spook investors as rising costs pushed 44MM more people in to poverty (though at least 13%…
-
2/3/11 Midnight Report: Bernanke Says Everything is A-OK (Other than Employment, Non-Core Inflation, and Anything Else That Makes a Healthy Economy)
The market closed up again today as Ben Bernanke let the National Press Club know that either the economy is fucked, or it isn’t (Money McBags is still trying to decipher Benny B’s speech but as “blowhard” is what Money McBags’ considers a command and not a language, it may take some time), protests in…
-
1/6/11 Midnight Report: Tweeting the Dip
Money McBags is not going to have a full column tonight as he is burned the fuck out after the last three days of producing more material than Gabourey Sidibe‘s Oscar dress maker while scratching his head over all of the dip buying. — Instead of a column today, Money McBags hit the twitter and…
-
12/28/10 Midnight Report: Consumer Confidence Falls Yet Retail Sales Rise as Christmas Miracles Continue
The market continues to putter along in the last trading week of a year that has thoroughly confused Money McBags like the subprime meltdown confused Ben Stein, the cosmological constant confused Einstein, or a grocery store freezer confused Carrie Harkness. Money McBags remains cockposterously perplexed and today was a microcosm of his befuddlement as consumer…
-
12/20/10 Midnight Report: Will the Economy Go Buy Buy During this Holiday Season?
The market crept up again today like Jessica Simpson’s pants or like Pete Townshend at a boy scout overnight (though all for research, wink wink). With the year ending next week and investor’s preparing for tonight’s lunar eclipse where the Earth will happily play Lucky Pierre between the Moon and the Sun (and this hasn’t…
-
12/14/10 Midnight Report: Fed Policy Blows, Spits Out Unemployment
The Fed’s monthly statement on the economy was out today and it was more redundant than a repetitive semantic pleonasm and less telling than a gay soldier (though it’s not clear that anyone asked). The FOMC statement was little changed from last month with the headline being that the economic recovery is still eating a…
-
12/2/10 Midnight Report: Fuck Money McBags
Yeah, that’s right fuck Money McBags, what an asshole. He celebrates the one year anniversary of the award winning When Genius Prevailed by taking a Friday off for Thanksgiving (where he made sure he didn’t overeat) and then has not only dropped just one column so far in his first week back when clearly you,…
-
11/15/10 Midnight Report: Retail Sales Rotten at the Core
A flurry of buyouts, headline-y good macro news (just don’t read the “not so” fine print), and the Fed promising to print enough dollars to make everyone a millionaire as Bernanke mimics the First Citiwide Change Bank “volume” strategy, caused investors to celebrate in the morning by doing the Dougie. However, the market slipped end…