RIMM
-
4/14/11 Midnight Report: As Always, New Claims For Unemployment Claim the Economy Still Sucks
The market rallied a bit in the afternoon as rising new claims for unemployment missed analyst guesses by somewhere near a fuckton (give or take an asshair or ten), Portugal and Greece saw bond yields rocket up more than applications to LaSalle’s MBA program and even more than Kate Upton on the awesomeness scale, and
-
2/16/10 Midnight Report: The Fed’s New Slogan: Where M-Raising Happens
The market rose again today (which is actually the new permanent opening line for Money McBags’ daily column so if you want to save yourselves five minutes, just add references to unemployment, inflation, Fermat’s last theorem, and Malene Espensen, then rinse, spit, and consider the column finished). That said, the market didn’t just rise because
-
12/18/10 Day After Report: Tax Bill Signed, to be Known as “Misery Compromise”
With market news quieter than a prisoner’s dilemma that actually reaches a Pareto efficient Nash equilibrium, and even quieter than the “Free Bernie Madoff” campaign, Money McBags had time to ponder some of biggest questions of the day. — He wondered why there wasn’t more flashing in the flash crash? Why they give out degrees
-
9/17/10 Midafternoon Report: Surprisingly strong RIMM job fails to stimulate the market
Volume was low today and the market was flat on a mundane “quadruple witching” Friday (and it is called that because all kinds of futures contracts and stock options expired today and not because Alan Greenspan’s guest appearance on Charmed was being rerun). The big macro news of the day was that consumer confidence fell
-
8/2/10 Midevening Report: Market hits ten week high as meth lab in the basement finally pays off
The market ran faster today than Roman Polanski going to get his keys to pick the baby sitter up because the manufacturing sector grew at its slowest pace since December, private construction spend dipped for the second month in a row, and Ben Bernanke said shit still sucks out there. So rally fucking on like
-
7/28/10 Midevening Report: Rally comes to an end and unfortunately it’s not Jessica Biel’s
The market sold off today as it couldn’t keep ignoring the data and finally had to come to grips with where the bad macro news had touched it. The biggest negative was the Fed’s Beige Book report which failed to titillate the market like either Money McBags’ book report on the Kama Sutra (which he
-
7/9/2010 Midafternoon Report: Investors get excited and take off their shorts to allow long exposure to grow
It’s a quiet day newswise and thus the market is deader than the Cleveland Cavaliers as it awaits the start of earnings season next week. Dominating the news today are non-financial matters like LeBron James betraying his home town team (and Cavs owner Dan Gilbert is said to have slept with his johnson in a
-
4/1/10 Midafternoon Report: A disappointing RIMM job
Before we get to the markets, Money McBags found a picture of the hottest female in the history of history and wanted to share it with his readers as a sign of his gratitude. This is the hottest female ever*, so you’re welcome. Anyway, stocks are up today as macro data was more encouraging than
-
3/30/10 Midafternoon Report: Market rests today after spending all night trying to find the afikomen
Before we get to the market news, today marks an important achievement for mankind (perhaps an even more important achievement than Brooklyn Decker) as the Hadron particle collider is finally working sending two protons smashing in to each other at 99% the speed of light. Results hope to answer some of the Universe’s most essential
-
3/8/10 Midafternoon Report: Market more mixed than reviews of Oscar telecast (and for the record, Money McBags gave it two thumbs in the ears)
The market is quiet today, likely still in bed after staying up all night to watch something called The Hurt Locker win so many Oscars that that the people who couldn’t get tickets to Avatar may now go see it (that is if Alice in Wonderland is also sold out and they hate fun). The