SBUX
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3/7/11 Midnight Report: Market Goes Down on Libya as Qaddafi Proves not to be a Cunning Linguist
The market sold off today as the Fed came out (not that there is anything wrong with that) and said that they are both for and against QE3 (which is as useful as a yersinia fecal transplant. And a quick side note on the whole fecal transplant as the new curative breakthrough but Money McBags…
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1/27/11 Midnight Report: S&P Touches 1300, 1300 Says it Liked it
Despite new claims for unemployment putting up the largest weekly increase since September 2005 (and you all remember September 2005, right? Alan Greenspan was still a genius, iPads were still just the truncated spelling of a sanitary napkin, and Kim Kardashian’s vagina was still underwraps (and some guy named Damon Thomas too)), despite Japan being…
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12/16/10 Midnight Report: Market Reaches Two Year High, Will Data Hold an Intervention?
The market was up today as PIMCO is set to get their equity on, Fed Ex plans to deliver a fuckload of packages in the next year (even more packages than Victoria Givens took for delivery in 2004, and like all proper businesses, she required they all be delivered in the rear), and former Obama…
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11/29/10 Midnight Report: EU Buys Ireland on Cyber Monday, Comes with Free Shipping, 6 Pack of Guinness, and Plenty of Broken Dreams
Hells yeah, Money McBags is back from his Thanksgiving break where he basted some turkeys, watched consumers run up more debt during Black Friday sales that they won’t be able to pay off until the dollar hyperinflates to whatever is just below infinity (perhaps Bernankity), and furiously read Wikileaks to learn that the US had…
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10/12/10 Midnight Report: Fed minutes count down the seconds to QE2
It was another quiet day in the market as the expectation of QE2 continues to dominate the headlines like Securities Analysis dominates the insomnia drug market or like Gabourey Sidibe dominates a doughnut (or box of doughnuts to be more precise). The market still can’t figure out what to do as investors continue to oscillate…
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4/22/10 Midday Report: Market struggles to find green on Earth Day thanks in part to the new planet threatening phenomenon of Goldman Warning
It’s Earth Day which means Al Gore is likely so giddy that he is rolling around the back seat of his electric car while warming his globes to thoughts of Susan Solomon’s ozone hole and Carmella Bing’s flourescent bulbs. And sadly, while all of this is happening, somewhere a polar bear dies. Anyway, the market…
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3/24/10 Midday Report: Port-Ugh-al
The market is down a bit today on news that some country in Europe named Portugal has had their debt rating lowered by a whole minus sign (yikes, imagine if it had been a minus sign and a frowny face) and slightly negative US macro news. New home sales came out today and boy were…