Spain
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Quick Update: Bustman’s Holiday
Money McBags was out all day wearing his monkey suit to dance for the organ grinder so did he miss anything? — Holy fucking shit did the market get tossed like Gracie Glam in Whatabooty 8 thanks to new claims for unemployment claiming a lot more people are unemfuckingployed, China’s export growth slowing as Cream…
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1/13/11 Midnight Report: Once Again, New Claims for Unemployment Claim the Economy Still Sucks
The market limped in to the close today as the dip buyers were somehow distracted by the jump in new claims for unemployment which were so far from analyst guesses that they were perhaps a Nassim Taleb-ian black swan (as opposed to a Natalie Portman-to-lesbian Black Swan), the continued rise of commodity prices (as companies…
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12/15/10 Midnight Report: Rich Guys Vote To Extend Tax Cuts For Rich, Laughter Trickles Down to Middle Class
The market continued to move sideways today as economic data was less relevant than Bernie Madoff’s thoughts on the CAPM and fund managers don’t want to rock the boat (though they’ll happily tickle the little man inside of it) this close to year end bonuses. This lack of volatility in the market is less surprising…
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12/14/10 Midnight Report: Fed Policy Blows, Spits Out Unemployment
The Fed’s monthly statement on the economy was out today and it was more redundant than a repetitive semantic pleonasm and less telling than a gay soldier (though it’s not clear that anyone asked). The FOMC statement was little changed from last month with the headline being that the economic recovery is still eating a…
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11/2/10 Midnight Report: They’re baaaaaaaaaaack!
The market rallied today as election booths underflowed with discontented voters, unemployed workers looking for a warm place to hang out during the day, and douchey hipsters who thought the lines were for the Apple store. — Apparently the Republicans are going to win back the House and thus have 1/4 of the decision making…
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9/30/10 Midevening Report: Stocks end higher for the Q as HFTs continue to be their pusher
The market was relatively flat today as investors were focused on figuring out how to build rocket ships to reach the newly found Goldilocks planet (where the distance from a star, surface area, and moon position are all just right to make it potentially habitable) to start a new economy as the current one is…
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9/29/10 Midnight Report: To QE or not to QE – that is the already determined question
The market was relatively quiet today as QE2 continues to dominate the financial headlines like Pablo Picasso dominated the cubist scene in the early 1900s (and the current disjointed and broken market is perhaps an homage to the long gone cubists) or Eugene Fama dominated the Chicago school of thought in the 1970s with his…
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9/22/10 Midevening Report: Market down as Bernanke’s mixed signals cause it to question whether he “likes” or “like likes” it
The market was up briefly in the morning before investors could pull themselves away from watching NSFW art films (and Money McBags does not know the plot of that film but believes it is about the unbelievably wonderful place people in heaven go to after they die in heaven) and realize that the emperor has…
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8/26/10 Midevening Report: Market continues to sag as it lost its benefits package and can no longer afford viagra
The market was down again today because it was open and because good news seems less likely than Nouriel Roubini going long FAS or Ron Paul posing as the centerfold for the Fed’s monthly newsletter (we hear his likes would be small government, long walks on the beach, and insanity). Investors anxiously await tomorrow’s latest…
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7/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market sucks again, swallows investor gains
It was another volatile day in the market as initial jobless claims came out and were much worse than expectations which is not surprising to anyone except for those who make those expectations. Claims were up by 13k to 472k while analysts had guessed that they would drop to 452k which means on average they…