unemployment
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3/12/11 Day After Report: Market Hit by a Spoogenami
While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to a rush to the Apple stores to buy the new Hello Kitty themed iPad2), there was a spoogenami in the…
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Economic Update: Jobs Report is Classic Case of Buy the Rumor, Sell the News (Unless the News Has A Hot Friend Who Likes 3-Somes)
The market bounced around a bit on Friday before closing down (something about conflict in the Middle East, spiking commodity prices, and Gabe Kaplan not showing up for the Welcome Back Kotter reunion) as investors were buying the dip, selling the rip, all while ogling the nip slip. That said, the big news of the…
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1/3/11 Midnight Report: Just Another Panic Monday for Shorts, Will Tomorrow be Their Funday?
The market ran today like Ben Bernanke was giving out free money (which um, he kind of is, as long as you have already proven that you are untrustworthy and have bad judgment), or giving out free shares of Facebook (which at this rate will be valued higher than an original copy of Birds of…
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11/11/10 Midnight Report: Nuthin’ but a G-20 Thang
The market slid today as Cisco spooked investors with a bad Q as they are still struggling to come up with a hit after the Thong Song, the G20 meetings proved to be less positive than a Helen Thomas pregnancy test, and macro news was more non-existent than dark matter (for now), as bond markets,…
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11/5/10 Midevening Report: Economy Stops Blowing Jobs
Hells yeah. The jobs report was released today and the economy added a headline 151k new jobs which means we will be back to a Keynesian healthy unemployment rate sometime around the year 2172, just in time for the third Tralfamadorian invasion of Earth, OJ to find the real killers, and Rocky XVII to be…
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11/1/10 Midnight Report: The Calm Before The (Shit) Storm
The market ran in the morning today on the strength of China manufacturing the fuck out of some shit before falling in the afternoon after realizing that most Americans can no longer afford to buy the fuck out of that same shit (except of course for iPhones, because no matter how poor people get, they…
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8/6/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs number disappoints again as people ask “Brother, can you spare a dime, and maybe a 401k?”
The market fell for most of the day before being bizarrely bailed out at the close for no reason other than to seemingly allow Money McBags to write that alliterative phrase. The big news was that the jobs report once again disappointed like the other side of a Goldman CDO deal or Tara Reid’s plastic…
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7/2/10 Midafternoon Report: More bad macro data leaves US worker in desperate need of a hand, job
Money McBags was initially in a good mood this morning as when he was scouring the internet for news/data/information, he learned that Wonder Woman was turning a delicious 69 (and it is news like that for which Money McBags lives), but then the jobs number came out and didn’t just put a turd in his…
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4/15/10 Midday Report: Tax day causes 53% of the US population to be pissed, other 47% pissed every day about being broke
Oh shit, just when the economy was looking better than a threesome with Hayley Atwell and Alice Eve, new jobless claims for last week rose for the second week in a row and economists didn’t have Easter to blame this time. Well, actually they did, as a government analyst once again warned that the numbers…
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4/8/10 Midday Report: Citi execs sorry they broke the economy, wipe their tears with their outsized bonuses
Money McBags is back and the markets are selling off a bit as apparently people somehow still care about Greece going bankrupt (but then again, some people also still care about the Poincare conjecture, the etymology of Star Wars languages, and saving the whales, so whatever). Seeing as how Greece hasn’t been relevant since the…