WGO
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7/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market sucks again, swallows investor gains
It was another volatile day in the market as initial jobless claims came out and were much worse than expectations which is not surprising to anyone except for those who make those expectations. Claims were up by 13k to 472k while analysts had guessed that they would drop to 452k which means on average they…
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6/22/10 Midafternoon Report: Home Un-Improvement
The market had trouble finding a direction for most of the day as news is thin and the summer is beginning so most volume is moving to the Hamptons where portfolio managers can sip on lemonade, listen to yacht rock, and denigrate the poor all while ignoring the economic data which has been so lackluster…
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6/17/10 Midafternoon Report: New claims for unemployment claim the economy still sucks
The market didn’t do much today as it tries to come down off its volatility high which was fueled by mass uncertainty, broken technical barriers, and a fuckload of pixie sticks. In macro news, new claims for unemployment were much worse than analyst guesses and also once again tested the (No) Labor Department’s ability to…
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6/16/10 Midday Report: BP sets aside $20B to be used on an oily day
First of all, Money McBags would like to thank all of you for your feedback yesterday. His inbox is currently overflowing like Whitezilla’s urethra after downing three cases of Mountain Dew in ten minutes (and feel free to google “Whitezilla” on your own time, Money McBags refuses to link to it due to good taste)…
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6/7/10 Midafternoon Report: Hold on to your shorts as market continues on wild ride down
The market was chugging along today, taking a brief respite to lick its wounds after Friday’s jobs report gave even the most virulent Bull a bad case of Foot in the Mouth disease, until it dropped precipitously in the last half hour like Helen Thomas’ reputation at a B’nai B’rith fundraiser. With Europe’s ongoing…
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6/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs report challenges Marmaduke movie for biggest bomb released on Friday
The (No) Labor Department’s jobs report came out today and was well below analyst guesses which sent the market tumbling like Tony Hayward’s Q score at a Greenpeace convention. The US added 431k jobs in May which was the biggest increase in a single month in over a decade since the internet was founded and…
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5/24/10 Midafternoon Report: American xenophobes shout “I told you so!” as european fears send US markets tumbling
Stocks were mostly flat today like they had no gaussian curvature or had Heidi Montag‘s singing voice until they took a nosedive over the final 30 minutes of trading. Existing home sales in the US rose by 7.6% and bested analyst guesses thanks to the first time home buyers tax credit, foreclosure auctions, and promises…
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5/20/10 Midafternoon Report: S&P slides closer to next technical level of 0, most economists predict a bounce from there.
Fucking Europe. Seriously. First they tried to tax us without letting us represent ourselves and you know what, we don’t play that way. Then they got all upitty and burned down the White House while poor little James Madison sat on his gelding and got his S’mores on. And after that we’ve had to bail…
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3/18/10 Midday Report: Market pauses to watch NCAA tournament, hopes boss isn’t looking
There was a flurry of economic data released today but unfortunately it was less decisive than a sugar addict with a severe case of ADD in a candy store with only $.50 to spend. Consumer prices remain unchanged, rising only .1% sequentially excluding food and fuel (or as they’re better known as, essentials). Consumer prices…
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2/8/10 Midday Report: Debt crisis forces EU to pull Super Bowl ad, can only afford to broadcast it on new 24 hour Michael Bolton Hip Hop Channel
The market opened down again before bouncing back a bit as people are more worried about Europe’s debt problems than they are about global warming, health care spending, and that thing on Drew Brees’ face. The President of the EU’s Central Bank, Jean Claude Trichet (and it must be pointed out that his name is…