Daily report
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9/20/10 Midevening Report: NBER said recession ended 15 months ago, also said they saw Elvis and found the G-Spot
The market melted up to a four month high today as technical levels were tripped after investors dropped some funny looking mushrooms in to the market’s salad, President Obama had an hour long town hall on CNBC where he assured investors that his administrations’ actions have stabilized the markets (though as always, it depends on
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9/17/10 Midafternoon Report: Surprisingly strong RIMM job fails to stimulate the market
Volume was low today and the market was flat on a mundane “quadruple witching” Friday (and it is called that because all kinds of futures contracts and stock options expired today and not because Alan Greenspan’s guest appearance on Charmed was being rerun). The big macro news of the day was that consumer confidence fell
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9/16/10 Midevening Report: Americans flash foodstamps in Poverty Gone Wild!
The market was remarkably flat today despite a flurry of economic news including new claims for unemployment, the producer price index, census data on poverty, and Craigslist officially shutting down its section for sex ads (thereby forcing wealthy scumbags to seek other arrangements). The most important, and frankly confusing, of the economic reports was the
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9/15/10 Midevening Report: S&P hits 5 week high even as macro data tries to hold an intervention
The market was up again today as Europe remains solvent and investors ignore macro data and instead focus on how they can become race car drivers. In economic news, production in the US slowed as automakers held back on churning out new cars due to a little something called a consumer fucking recession. Not only
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9/14/10 Midevening Report: Bigger retail sales fail to stimulate market as market prefers motion of the ocean
The market closed down after being up most of the day as US retail sales were a bit better than guessed at by analysts thanks to bigger back to school discounts, some states offering tax-free holidays (or as they are more commonly known as: paycations), and consumers having more money after skimping on their water
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9/13/10 Midevening Report: You can’t spell “unstable” without BASEL
The market ran up again today because Warren Buffett said the economy is fine (and as we at the award winning When Genius Prevail know, if you keep saying something, people will eventually believe you) as noted by the fact that he is back to eating four scrambled faberge eggs for breakfast with his soylent
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9/10/10 Midevening Report: Market ends the week slightly higher as it can only afford the cheap stuff
Just a quick daily report because Money McBags spent way too much time breaking down DFZ’s Q earlier today, especially considering no one gives a fuck about the company including investors, the CEO, and probably even the CEO’s mom (though Money McBags’ analysis kills it). That said, the market was up modestly today on light
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9/9/10 Midevening Report: Government massages new claims for unemployment data and gives the market a happy ending
The market was up again today as it continues to rejoice that there are only “widespread signs of deceleration” and not whatever is worse than widespread, like “doublewidespread” or “assawful.” The big macro news was that new claims for unemployment were out and they demolished analyst guesses of 470k by coming in at a petite
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9/8/10 Midevening Report: Read My Lips: “Fuck you, rich people”
The market was up today as either it’s opposite day or we have finally reached the foretold Idiocracy since according to the Fed, the economy is showing “widespread signs of deceleration” (and that phrase is about as positive for the market as Magic Johnson being out of condoms is for one of his groupies). But
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9/7/10 Midafternoon Report: “Banks for nothing, Europe”
The market took a breather today from its run up last week that was driven by misinterpreted news, false hope, and probably a bunch of fat fingers. Today, the big fear is that the Euro bank stress tests were not as stringent as they should have been, a fact so obvious at the time that