Daily report
-
9/3/10 Midafternoon Report: Inconceivable! Money McBags does not think jobs report means what market thinks it means
Oh no you didn’t. The monthly jobs report came out today and destroyed analyst guesses of 41k private sector jobs created by coming in with a headline ~67k private sector jobs created, so break open the bubbly and call the Mrs. (or Mr. for Money McBags’ female, or vagina-challenged, readers) because with a report that
-
9/2/10 Midevening Report: Investors no longer need toilet paper as economy continues to slide along bottoms
It was a relatively quiet day in the market today as bears picked up their shorts and hoped the bad men would stop pulling their alpha after yesterday’s strong move higher left their portfolios with shrinkage. The big macro news of the day was that new claims for unemployment dropped by 6k to 472k and
-
9/1/10 Midevening Report: Manufacture this!
Rally!!!!!!!!!! With the war in Iraq over, manufacturing data around the world showing more buoyancy than Archimedes’ “principle” in a bowl of jello, and warts finally shown to be unrelated to herpes (which means Paris Hilton now needs to look for two culprits as opposed to just one), the double dip has apparently been averted
-
8/30/10 Midafternoon Report: Warren Buffett turns 80 as he and the S&P race to 100
The market was fairly quiet today with many investors spending their last summer week basking in the sun, sipping on margaritas, and enjoying the last days of the S&P above 1,000. In fact news was so thin this morning that the NY Times business cover story told you about retargeting as the reason why you
-
8/27/10 Midday Report: Economy GDPeed on
The market was up today despite the government lowering their forecast of Q2 GDP to 1.6%, down from the 2.4% they fabricated last month and likely up from the lower number they will make up next month in their “hold the shock and hope for no awe strategy.” Growth in the economy has now
-
8/26/10 Midevening Report: Market continues to sag as it lost its benefits package and can no longer afford viagra
The market was down again today because it was open and because good news seems less likely than Nouriel Roubini going long FAS or Ron Paul posing as the centerfold for the Fed’s monthly newsletter (we hear his likes would be small government, long walks on the beach, and insanity). Investors anxiously await tomorrow’s latest
-
8/24/10 Midday Report: Housing boom now bigger bust than Dolly Parton’s, though a lot more affordable and without the old lady smell
Money McBags tweeted, facebooked, and even semaphored that he will be traveling Monday through Wednesday of this week and thus likely would be absent from When Genius Prevailed for a few days (even God took one fucking day off), but with the market going back to hell (or at least the 666 low), Money McBags
-
8/20/10 Midevening Report: Market keeps going down, investors worry it may develop lockjaw
The market continued to stumble today as if it were Heather Mills on an inclined treadmill. With a dearth of macro news, the sell off was still a result of yesterday’s craptacular economic data where new claims for unemployment jumped, productivity in Philly shrank, and as always, Hannah Hilton remained retired (and please Hannah, come
-
8/19/10 Midnight Report: No work and no pay makes the market a dull buy
Look out belowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww as the market is falling faster than Eliot Spitzer’s pants at the Mayflower hotel. Investors have finally decided to ignore the marginally good earnings data this quarter which was a lot of bottom line growth with weak toplines and instead pay some attention to macro data which is trending worse than Club
-
8/18/10 Midnight Report: Market flatter than 13 year old girl in honor of Roman Polanski’s birthday
The market was up modestly today as earnings were mixed and macro data was as non-existent as leprechauns, free will, and married women who swallow. Seriously, macro data was more fallow than Betty White’s uterus so investors were left to sift through earnings reports and finally get around to petitioning the CFA society for their