Daily report
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8/17/10 Midevening Report: Market gets higher thanks to POT
Money McBags is back today after technical difficulties kept him from dropping some market knowledge yesterday. He’d like to say his absence was because he was busy trying to solve some of the world’s greatest problems such as auditing the recent proof of P vs NP (which showed that P does not equal NP, though
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8/13/10 Midafternoon Report: Stocks continue to go down, say they are just rehearsing to play Paris Hilton in upcoming biopic
Money McBags was in a good mood this morning when he learned that a woman named Cynthia Cooper-Dyke is being inducted in to the Basketball Hall of Fame (no doubt for her love of boxing out, her ability to play such solid defense that she would literally be “in the shirt” of her opponent, and
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8/12/10 Midafternoon Report: Cisco getting mixed signals as customers not sure they want to go all the way
Stocks were down again today as the market is still reeling from yesterday’s crap trick (the crap trick being 3 large economies announcing things are getting crappier in a 24 hour period) and suffered further bad news with CSCO missing revenue targets, new claims for unemployment surging, and deflation taking over as the new inflation.
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8/11/10 Midevening Report: Market goes down furiously, swallows long positions
Timberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. The market went down today faster than the Hummer Mom chaperoning a Boy Scout overnight. Given the months of bad macro data and the Fed warning about slower growth yesterday, the drop is about as surprising as learning that menstrual cramps may alter women’s brains (and for their next study, National Yang-Ming University will
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8/10/10 Midevening Report: Fed quantitatively eases on down the road, hopes the road doesn’t lead to deflation
The market dropped in the morning like Ted Stevens’ plane (too soon?) which Money McBags read about on the series of tubes some people call the internets (perhaps if there had been a bridge going somewhere instead of nowhere, the plane wouldn’t have been needed, but Money McBags digresses), until Ben Bernanke got his quantitative
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8/9/10 Midafternoon Report: The (money) shot Hurd around the world
With little macro data out today, the big news in the market is that HP CEO Mark Hurd resigned due to a sexual harrassment discrimination suit that seemed to involve less sex than Bill Clinton’s bedroom (that is when Hillary is sleeping there). Apparently Hurd hid business expenses when taking out a MILF/GMILF named Jodie
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8/6/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs number disappoints again as people ask “Brother, can you spare a dime, and maybe a 401k?”
The market fell for most of the day before being bizarrely bailed out at the close for no reason other than to seemingly allow Money McBags to write that alliterative phrase. The big news was that the jobs report once again disappointed like the other side of a Goldman CDO deal or Tara Reid’s plastic
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8/5/10 Midevening Report: New claims for unemployment continue to claim the economy still sucks
The market traded down today like anyone who has ever broken up with the delightful Brooklyn Decker as new claims for unemployment were out and were much worse than analysts had guessed (and not just because analysts suck at their jobs like one-legged kick boxers, but because we’re in a fucking recession). Money McBags hates
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8/4/10 Midevening Report: Market continues moving on up, can now afford eastside deluxe apartment in the sky
The stock market crept up again today as the equity markets and bond markets continue to decouple like Bristol and Levi, Mel Gibson and sanity, or Carrie Prejean and her top. In terms of macro news, the ISM released their report on the services sector and it both beat analyst guesses of 53 by coming
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8/2/10 Midevening Report: Market hits ten week high as meth lab in the basement finally pays off
The market ran faster today than Roman Polanski going to get his keys to pick the baby sitter up because the manufacturing sector grew at its slowest pace since December, private construction spend dipped for the second month in a row, and Ben Bernanke said shit still sucks out there. So rally fucking on like