Daily report
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7/30/10 Midevening Report: GDP goes down again, claims it likes the taste
The big macro news today was that GDP slowed to 2.4% growth in Q2, that is until it’s revised down next Q to keep up with the administration’s “hold the shock and hope for no awe” strategy. This strategy was further evident in today’s release as GDP from the past 3 fucking years was revised
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7/28/10 Midevening Report: Rally comes to an end and unfortunately it’s not Jessica Biel’s
The market sold off today as it couldn’t keep ignoring the data and finally had to come to grips with where the bad macro news had touched it. The biggest negative was the Fed’s Beige Book report which failed to titillate the market like either Money McBags’ book report on the Kama Sutra (which he
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7/27/10 Midafternoon Report: Consumers still confident the economy sucks
The market bounced around today as it tried to find a direction like scientists are trying to find the elusive “God particle” (though apparently scientists have figured out where it isn’t which includes Jane Austen’s writing, Bernie Madoff’s bank account, and Jamaica. But newsflash Einsteins, you might want to check Brooklyn Decker‘s vagina because if
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7/26/10 Midevening Report: Market rally excites quants as S&P rubs up against upper bollinger band
The market ran again today as Fed Ex boosted guidance due to international companies wanting shit faster and macro data headlines were manipulatedly good (like Cameron Diaz‘ face on a magazine cover). The big macro news was that new home sales jumped 24% which is the biggest jump since May of 1980 and totally sounds
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7/23/10 Midafternoon Report: European banks pass stress test, results of colonoscopy still pending
The market was quiet in the morning despite a slew of solid earnings announcements as it waited for the release of the Europe bank stress tests which were more highly anticipated than Lindsay Lohan’s jail stint, Avatar’s opening weekend, or Mel Gibson’s next career limiting phone call. Well the results came out midday and were
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7/22/10 Midevening Report: Market shoots up on earnings, hopefully it wasn’t sharing a needle with Greece
The market raced up today as if it were Icarus escaping from Crete and rapidly approaching the tantalizing Sun, though with luck it used better wings and thus will avoid the same fate. Despite more negative macro news, a growing and unsustainable debt, and more longterm unemployed people than a fast food addict has bacne,
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7/21/10 Midevening Report: Market “unusually certain” that it should go down
The market was chugging right along today like a Kennedy at a sorority mixer after Apple titillated the market with sales stronger than the breath of either of the world’s foremost cunning linguists, the great Vladmir Nabokov and the greater Janine Lindemulder, until Ben Bernanke got up and threw his figurative Baby Ruth into the
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7/20/10 Midevening Report: Republicans fail to stop unemployment benefits from being extended, next up, trying to outlaw wheelchairs for quadriplegics
The market was moderately down today like a dysthymic after downing a plate of sugar coated prozac and a 2 liter of Jolt Cola before it ran up in the late afternoon due to the Senate extending unemployment benefits. Earnings were the biggest disappointment early on with IBM, TXN, and GS all putting up subpar
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7/19/10 Midevening Report: Stocks higher as earnings more highly anticipated than the last thing that wound up disappointing everyone
The market sagged today like a droopy catenary with a very low value of “a” or Uma Thurman on vacation, before gaining some steam in the afternoon. With earnings season started, macro data was lighter than Ben Stein’s reputation as an economist or sales of Liberace’s last book: “How not to get AIDS and die.”
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7/16/10 Midnight Report: A load of Bears hit
The market tumbled today like a broke Boy George on a floor covered with dong as consumer confidence continues to fade like LeBron James’ Q score or Haiti. Consumer sentiment fell to 66.5 which is the lowest since August and below the most pessimistic guesses of those not paying attention (also known as economists). The