Daily report
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6/11/10 Midday Report: Retail sales drop as stores still insist on charging money
The market has been relatively quiet today after yesterday’s meteoric rise on news less relevant than the Pound-Dong exchange rate (and oddly enough Pound Dong was also the name of Alexis Texas‘ last movie) or the 93rd decimal of Pi (which incidentally is 2). In US macro news, consumer sentiment was better than analysts guessed,
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6/10/10 Midevening Report: Market rallies in anticipation of tomorrow’s sell off
Readers, Money McBags apologizes for his absence yesterday, unfortunately he has a life outside of the great When Genius Prevailed and that life required him to spend all day watching Anna Paquin scenes now that she is oh so comfortable with her bisexuality, so you can’t really fault him for that. Anyway, today the market
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6/8/10 Midevening Report: Bernanke speech fails to significantly rally the market, says he’ll overpromise more next time
The market was relatively quiet today as there was a lack of macro news though Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke was out late Monday saying: “My best guess is that we’ll have a continued recovery, but it won’t feel terrific like a blumpkin from Sara Varone followed by a nice wipe with that oh so soft
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6/7/10 Midafternoon Report: Hold on to your shorts as market continues on wild ride down
The market was chugging along today, taking a brief respite to lick its wounds after Friday’s jobs report gave even the most virulent Bull a bad case of Foot in the Mouth disease, until it dropped precipitously in the last half hour like Helen Thomas’ reputation at a B’nai B’rith fundraiser. With Europe’s ongoing
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6/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Jobs report challenges Marmaduke movie for biggest bomb released on Friday
The (No) Labor Department’s jobs report came out today and was well below analyst guesses which sent the market tumbling like Tony Hayward’s Q score at a Greenpeace convention. The US added 431k jobs in May which was the biggest increase in a single month in over a decade since the internet was founded and
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6/3/10 Midevening Report: BP apologizes for oil spill while investors await market’s apology for recent 12% drop
The market held steady today like the Universe according to Fred Hoyle or the unemployment rate over the past several months. Speaking of unemployment, jobs data came out in advance of tomorrow’s already leaked positive government non farm payrolls report which will no doubt feature a birth/death model plug so large that it will be
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6/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market adopts new tagline “Sell the rumor, sell the news”
Stocks bounced around today like BP’s excuses for the Gulf oil spill or like Kelly Brook’s “oil domes” while she jumps on a trampoline. Solid US economic data pushed the market in to positive territory in the morning, giving investors a slight glimmer of hope before that hope was flushed away like a 3 story
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5/28/10 Midafternoon Report: Market falls after basque-ing in Spain’s downgrade
Money McBags has been busy so today’s report will be brief, like the Anglo-Zanzibar war of 1896 or Gary Coleman’s remaining days (what, too soon?). The market tanked again and closed down 8% for the month of May which is the worst May in 48 years which was so long ago that the Hulk comic
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5/27/10 Midafternoon Report: China backs up Euro, causes it to come from behind
The market was up stronger today than a shot of tequila washed down with a hefty glass of grain alcohol or as its known in the Hasselhoff household: “breakfast.” If you haven’t heard, the Chinese are coming and this time it’s not just from looking at Gaile Lok it’s because they are still hella interested
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5/26/10 Midevening Report: Market diagnosed with Meniere’s disease as it can’t stop falling
The market tried to rally today like a drunken hobo lying in a pool of his own vomit reaching for the discarded fifth of whiskey by his side to try to taste one last drop. Unfortunately the last drop turned out to be another hobo’s urine as Money McBags hasn’t seen a rally less believable