Daily report
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12/28/10 Midnight Report: Consumer Confidence Falls Yet Retail Sales Rise as Christmas Miracles Continue
The market continues to putter along in the last trading week of a year that has thoroughly confused Money McBags like the subprime meltdown confused Ben Stein, the cosmological constant confused Einstein, or a grocery store freezer confused Carrie Harkness. Money McBags remains cockposterously perplexed and today was a microcosm of his befuddlement as consumer
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12/27/10 Mini Update: Twitter Me This
With nothing happening today in the market, Money McBags decided to use the Twitter to get his market on in 140 characters or fewer (and none of the characters were Humbert Humbert, Gloria Delgado-Pritchett, or Mr. Horton). Below is what you may have missed: — 1. MMB back tomorrow. spent today shoveling, wondering who keeps
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12/20/10 Midnight Report: Will the Economy Go Buy Buy During this Holiday Season?
The market crept up again today like Jessica Simpson’s pants or like Pete Townshend at a boy scout overnight (though all for research, wink wink). With the year ending next week and investor’s preparing for tonight’s lunar eclipse where the Earth will happily play Lucky Pierre between the Moon and the Sun (and this hasn’t
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12/18/10 Day After Report: Tax Bill Signed, to be Known as “Misery Compromise”
With market news quieter than a prisoner’s dilemma that actually reaches a Pareto efficient Nash equilibrium, and even quieter than the “Free Bernie Madoff” campaign, Money McBags had time to ponder some of biggest questions of the day. — He wondered why there wasn’t more flashing in the flash crash? Why they give out degrees
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12/16/10 Midnight Report: Market Reaches Two Year High, Will Data Hold an Intervention?
The market was up today as PIMCO is set to get their equity on, Fed Ex plans to deliver a fuckload of packages in the next year (even more packages than Victoria Givens took for delivery in 2004, and like all proper businesses, she required they all be delivered in the rear), and former Obama
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12/15/10 Midnight Report: Rich Guys Vote To Extend Tax Cuts For Rich, Laughter Trickles Down to Middle Class
The market continued to move sideways today as economic data was less relevant than Bernie Madoff’s thoughts on the CAPM and fund managers don’t want to rock the boat (though they’ll happily tickle the little man inside of it) this close to year end bonuses. This lack of volatility in the market is less surprising
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12/14/10 Midnight Report: Fed Policy Blows, Spits Out Unemployment
The Fed’s monthly statement on the economy was out today and it was more redundant than a repetitive semantic pleonasm and less telling than a gay soldier (though it’s not clear that anyone asked). The FOMC statement was little changed from last month with the headline being that the economic recovery is still eating a
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12/13/10 Midnight Report: Market Has a Case of the Mondays
Not much happened in the market today as volume was lighter than the audience for a Hasselhoff reality TV show (and also about 900 IQ points higher) as investors continue to sit on their laurels (and if it is this Laurel on which they are sitting, then Money McBags certainly understands) while waiting for year
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12/2/10 Midnight Report: Fuck Money McBags
Yeah, that’s right fuck Money McBags, what an asshole. He celebrates the one year anniversary of the award winning When Genius Prevailed by taking a Friday off for Thanksgiving (where he made sure he didn’t overeat) and then has not only dropped just one column so far in his first week back when clearly you,
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11/29/10 Midnight Report: EU Buys Ireland on Cyber Monday, Comes with Free Shipping, 6 Pack of Guinness, and Plenty of Broken Dreams
Hells yeah, Money McBags is back from his Thanksgiving break where he basted some turkeys, watched consumers run up more debt during Black Friday sales that they won’t be able to pay off until the dollar hyperinflates to whatever is just below infinity (perhaps Bernankity), and furiously read Wikileaks to learn that the US had