Daily report
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11/23/10 Midnight Report: Fed Minutes Show Only Hours Until Dollars’ Demise as the Economy Will Be The Real Turkey This Thanksgiving
The market is limping in to Thanksgiving like Kenny Easterday with a broken wrist thanks to the European Union being on shakier ground than Gabourey Sidibe on a tight rope, North Korea dropping bombs on South Korea after South Korea’s TSA apparently tried to touch Kim Jong-ils junk, and the Fed releasing the minutes from
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11/20/10 Midday After Report: Bernanke Lets His Hair Down
Kind of a drab hum drum day in the market yesterday as no new countries were close to defaulting, no new IPOs of shitty companies were being sold (and yeah Harrah’s, Money McBags is looking at you), and no new news on whether Milla Jovovich will be joining her country’s burgeoning Femen movement. — With
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11/18/10 Midnight Report: A Bailout a Day Keeps the Sanity Away
The market absolutely flew today as if it were late to the only showing of Natalie Portman’s first lesbian scene thanks to a European country needing to be rescued from the brink of bankruptcy, retail investors being able to buy stock again in one of the shittiest companies ever, and marginal to absurd macro data
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11/17/10 Midnight Report: Will Erin Go Bragh, Erin Go Bust?
The market quieted down today as European investors apparently have turned their focus from Ireland’s spiraling deficit to wondering if they will be charged international rates for voting in Argentina’s Dancing with the Stars while also strangely trying to find out who killed Tycho Brahe (and for the record, Money McBags is going with Johannes
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11/16/10 Midevening Report: The Suck of the Irish
The market crumbled today like Charles Rangel’s reputation as apparently Europe went through the TSA’s new back-scatter x-ray machine and was revealed to have a severely dangling Ireland. In addition to Europe being on the verge of another meltdown (or just a continuation of their previous one), China is trying to regulate inflation, and the
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11/15/10 Midnight Report: Retail Sales Rotten at the Core
A flurry of buyouts, headline-y good macro news (just don’t read the “not so” fine print), and the Fed promising to print enough dollars to make everyone a millionaire as Bernanke mimics the First Citiwide Change Bank “volume” strategy, caused investors to celebrate in the morning by doing the Dougie. However, the market slipped end
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11/11/10 Midnight Report: Nuthin’ but a G-20 Thang
The market slid today as Cisco spooked investors with a bad Q as they are still struggling to come up with a hit after the Thong Song, the G20 meetings proved to be less positive than a Helen Thomas pregnancy test, and macro news was more non-existent than dark matter (for now), as bond markets,
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11/10/10 Midnight Report: Will Obama be Seoul Man Defending Fed at G20
Marginal macro news, the upcoming G20 meetings, rising commodity margins, and enough uncertainty to make even Heisenberg jealous had the market once again bobbing up and down like Shyla Stylez trying to make her rent. We remain at a confusing time with economic data saying the market should go down (that economic data being a U6 unemployment
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11/9/10 Midevening Report: As QE2 Hangover Wears Off, Will Market Wake Up in A Pool of Its Own Volatility
It was another lackluster day in the market as investors are still trying to regain their bearings from last week’s quadruple news high of elections, QE2, the jobs report, and Kat Dennings nude photos being released. With all of the excitement of those events more than priced in to the market, investors have spent the
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11/5/10 Midevening Report: Economy Stops Blowing Jobs
Hells yeah. The jobs report was released today and the economy added a headline 151k new jobs which means we will be back to a Keynesian healthy unemployment rate sometime around the year 2172, just in time for the third Tralfamadorian invasion of Earth, OJ to find the real killers, and Rocky XVII to be