GS
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4/14/11 Midnight Report: As Always, New Claims For Unemployment Claim the Economy Still Sucks
The market rallied a bit in the afternoon as rising new claims for unemployment missed analyst guesses by somewhere near a fuckton (give or take an asshair or ten), Portugal and Greece saw bond yields rocket up more than applications to LaSalle’s MBA program and even more than Kate Upton on the awesomeness scale, and
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1/19/10 Midnight Report: Market Goes Down on Earnings, Did it Swallow Idea that the Economy is Improving?
The market sold off today as earnings were more mixed than Tiger Woods’ family tree, housing data continued to remind people that double dipping can cause more than just herpes, and investors were all liquidating their portfolios to get cash to buy those 50% off Amazon coupons at Living Social in order to get in
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1/1/11 Midnight Report: Data Speaks Softly, Will Earnings Carry a Big Stick?
It was a fairly quiet day on the market as investors get ready for earnings season, brace for an East Coast snow storm, and actively try to bet on which porn star Charlie Sheen will bang next (and for the record, Money McBags is taking Gracie Glam, in the kitchen, with his lead pipe). That
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10/19/10 Midnight Report: 50k iPads a day won’t keep the bear market away
Timberrrrr. The market sold off today as a result of tech companies posting earnings that failed to titillate the street, China raising their interest rates to try to stave off an asset bubble that soon may be only a prick away from popping, and the rent still being too damn high. Up until now, the
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9/3/10 Midafternoon Report: Inconceivable! Money McBags does not think jobs report means what market thinks it means
Oh no you didn’t. The monthly jobs report came out today and destroyed analyst guesses of 41k private sector jobs created by coming in with a headline ~67k private sector jobs created, so break open the bubbly and call the Mrs. (or Mr. for Money McBags’ female, or vagina-challenged, readers) because with a report that
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7/20/10 Midevening Report: Republicans fail to stop unemployment benefits from being extended, next up, trying to outlaw wheelchairs for quadriplegics
The market was moderately down today like a dysthymic after downing a plate of sugar coated prozac and a 2 liter of Jolt Cola before it ran up in the late afternoon due to the Senate extending unemployment benefits. Earnings were the biggest disappointment early on with IBM, TXN, and GS all putting up subpar
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7/16/10 Midnight Report: A load of Bears hit
The market tumbled today like a broke Boy George on a floor covered with dong as consumer confidence continues to fade like LeBron James’ Q score or Haiti. Consumer sentiment fell to 66.5 which is the lowest since August and below the most pessimistic guesses of those not paying attention (also known as economists). The
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7/1/10 Midafternoon Report: Market sucks again, swallows investor gains
It was another volatile day in the market as initial jobless claims came out and were much worse than expectations which is not surprising to anyone except for those who make those expectations. Claims were up by 13k to 472k while analysts had guessed that they would drop to 452k which means on average they
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6/21/10 Midafternoon Report: China drops its peg, exposes its growing yuan
The market rallied today in the morning like a chubby chaser with a bottle of crisco on his way to a Peter Paul Rubens exhibit until it faded in the afternoon thanks to common sense and volume. Rallying the market in the morning was news that China is going to unpeg their currency from the
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6/17/10 Midafternoon Report: New claims for unemployment claim the economy still sucks
The market didn’t do much today as it tries to come down off its volatility high which was fueled by mass uncertainty, broken technical barriers, and a fuckload of pixie sticks. In macro news, new claims for unemployment were much worse than analyst guesses and also once again tested the (No) Labor Department’s ability to