Timberrrrr.  The market sold off today as a result of tech companies posting earnings that failed to titillate the street, China raising their interest rates to try to stave off an asset bubble that soon may be only a prick away from popping, and the rent still being too damn high. Up until now, the market had been able to continue its rally through the beginning of earnings season as QE2 was there to pump it up like the theme music from Rocky III or a good old Doc Johnson, but with QE2 now fully on the table and the debate moving from if, to when, to how the fuck much, micro news is beginning to be much more important again.

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Speaking of QE2, Atlanta Fed Bank President Dennis Lockhart seemingly reinvigorated the gold club by talking about the further devaluation of the dollar that will happen with QE2.  Situated in the Fed’s underground lair in Nevada, he informed CNBC that QE2 needs to be big enough to make a difference, and by big enough, he means $100B (no really he said $100B, check the video).  So once and for all Lockhart proved that size matters to the Fed and it’s not just the promotion of the notion(al).  Lockhart also told viewers that QE2 will help lower interest rates (because real interest rates already below zero for the 7 year and on in just aren’t low enough) and that in turn will help consumer spending and business investment because businesses really need more cash despite the fact that they currently have hoards of it on their balance sheets.  This is a more assbackwards attempt to increase consumer spend than hiring Ice-T’s wife and charging consumers for cheek shots.

As far as Money McBags is concerned, the problem isn’t that companies don’t have access to cash to hire, it’s that there is too much fucking uncertainty for them to do anything as nearly 20% of the population remains long-term or pre-long-term unemployed.  If anything, government policies should be aimed at GETTING PEOPLE JOBS so they will have money once again to spend on food, shelter, and those delicious chocolate Necco wafers.  That in turn will create real demand, which will allow businesses to actually use their cash to invest in their business which equals more hiring and maybe, just maybe, an economy at least a nut hair healthier than Michael Douglas’ throat.  So any government intervention (and perhaps Money McBags can get A&E to tape the intervention before the government runs out of the room in denial) should be focused on building bridges, opening tunnels, and erecting shit that will be useful in order to get people working, get money in to their pockets, and test out that the Keynesian multiplier isn’t just another irrelevant concept that doesn’t work in the real world like efficient markets, Mickey Rourke, and monogamy.  Either that, or the government should leave the economy the fuck alone.

In other macro news, new home construction was up .3% in September driven by a 4.4% rise in single family homes thanks to the Commerce Department adding card board boxes and new cars to their construction models.  While construction was up slightly, the forward looking metric of permits issued (and it is forward looking because it is predictive and not because Nicole Trunfio is standing in front of it) dropped by 5.6% due to a 20% drop in permits for apartments and condos as that market has more capacity than Rungrado May Day Stadium or Kim Kardashian‘s vagina.

Internationally, China raised their rates for the first time since 2007 to try to lift real rates above zero, cool down asset prices, and perhaps avoid a currency war that has put the US dollar in a figurative chinese fingercuff between the Yuan and the Yen.  The 25bp rise in rates could signal the start of a new monetary policy to curb China’s asset inflation and that policy will have to be tighter than Kenny Roger‘s face to be successful.

But the real story today was earnings as AAPL and IBM both mildly disappointed the Street and GS, BAC, and COF all either met, beat, or missed guesses depending on what you want to include as one-timers, earnings manipulation, and straight up fraud.

Quick aside:  Back in the day, Money McBags covered the financial services sector when he worked for the man and he quickly realized that there was absolutely no way to have any confidence in any of the numbers in 10Qs or 10Ks because an extra provision here or a different nomenclature there, and earnings would be whatever the companies wanted.  Given that, Money McBags came up with a simple regression model to pick financial stocks that take balance sheet risk with the independent variables being the number of Wells notices a management team has received, the length of the CEO’s admin assistant’s skirt, the number of times the CFO says the word “risk” in a company one one one, and the color of their helmets.  That model reduced his work by 99%, had an r-squared of .95, and actually gave him a track record better than the best sell side analyst who was right only 38% of the time.

But back to the key point which is that AAPL drove the market down despite killing it with revenue growth up over 100% (~$20B vs. ~$10B last year) and iPhone sales up 92%, as they saw margins decline, sales of iPods drop 11% (though buying an iPod when there are iPhones and iPads is a bit like buying an abacus instead of a calculator or DVDs when there is the NSFW Spankwire), and sales of iPads come in below guesses of 5MM at only ~4.19MM.  AAPL had earnings of $4.64 per share vs. guesses of $4.08 per share but margins and iPad expectations were enough to send it, and the market down on the day.

The other big tech Q was from IBM where a 7% drop in service contracts served shareholders up with a shit sandwich, despite the company beating analyst guesses on both the top and bottom lines as well as raising full year guidance to above those same analysts’ guesses.  Hmmmmm.  The company is now trading at ~12.5 this year’s guidance but has been on a hockey stick type run so Money McBags guesses a sell off was due on anything that was just a Khagendra Thapa Magar stiffy below absolutely positive, so it is what it is and now the sell side has a reason to print reports to get more trades.  Money McBags loves that S&P Equity Research downgraded IBM to “buy” from “strong buy” because the difference between those is completely non-sensical.  Either you buy something, or you don’t.  Fucktards.

Also, as mentioned earlier GS announced their Q and beat analyst guesses (wink, wink) on stronger than guessed trading results (unless you were guessing at them last year when they were ~60% higher than they were in this Q).  As a result of their spanktastic relative Q (but their shitastic absolute Q), employees on average are now only going to earn ~$370k for the year which means instead of  being the super rich assholes in the room, they are now going to be the whiny super rich assholes in the room.

Finally, BAC beat guesses of $.16 per share by earning $.27 per share, that is if one ignores their $10B goodwill impairment charge, and really what’s another $10B among shareholders, especially as it is non-cash?  And KO put up a nice quarter and beat guesses all around with a surprising 2% jump in North American sales with continued strong international growth.  Money McBags has said it here before, but he owns KO and this is the kind of company you can almost feel ok gambling on because when everything goes down the drain like Money McBags’ hopes and dreams, people are still going to drink the fuck out of some Coke,  On top of that, strong aspirational brands that sell a cheap product should continue to do well in emerging markets because those populations strive to adopt American culture and dream of the day when they too can sit on their fat asses all day and spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need while blaming the government for their problems.

In small cap news, for some reason Money McBags dropped ~2k words on JOEZ last night which not only makes him the Charles Dickens of jeggings, but was also the biggest waste of his time since he tried to fucking find barley in a grocery store (and here’s a hint, just ask).  One stock to keep an eye on (and just one eye, because you’ll need the other one to watch this) is SPU because it is doing what Money McBags believes technicians would call “going up.”

Look, Money McBags dove in to this company briefly a few months ago as it tripped his screens as being cheap, growing strongly, and having a good balance sheet and on paper it looked almost as good as Kelly Brook.  That said, he never wrote it up on the award winning When Genius Prevailed because it had one huge problem, and that was that their business involves selling fruit juice and concentrate in China which is further outside of Money McBags circle of confidence than nuclear physics (because he does understand some fission and fusion and heavy elements).  So this is one of those times where Money McBags is just going to tip you off about a stock that looked hella interesting, seems fundamentally sound, and is moving, but that he just can’t confirm anything about, so do with it as you please.

Money McBags will hopefully have more detailed stock analysis tomorrow as on his to do list is WGO’s Q, analysis of OPEN (which if the market turns should drop faster than Andrew Johnson’s support in the Republican party after 1865), and Leticia Cline.

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