Daily report
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Site Update: The Week That Won’t Be
Ladies, Gentlemen, Dick Fisher, — It is a sad fucking day here in the offices of the award winning When Genius Prevailed, and not just because Japan is melting down worse than Bill O’Reilly trying to read a teleprompter, not just because Qaddafi is attacking his own people (and showing he has more lives than
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3/12/11 Day After Report: Market Hit by a Spoogenami
While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to a rush to the Apple stores to buy the new Hello Kitty themed iPad2), there was a spoogenami in the
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Quick Update: Bustman’s Holiday
Money McBags was out all day wearing his monkey suit to dance for the organ grinder so did he miss anything? — Holy fucking shit did the market get tossed like Gracie Glam in Whatabooty 8 thanks to new claims for unemployment claiming a lot more people are unemfuckingployed, China’s export growth slowing as Cream
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Small Company Update: Is It Time to COOL It Now?
Money McBags wants to write about COOL today as they put up a Q more fucktastic than Sarah Shahi covered in $100 bills and doused with Bridgitte Bardot‘s nipple sweat (from an early 1950’s vintage bottle of course). Readers know Money McBags has often shit all over this company because, well, because it is a
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3/8/11 Midnight Report: Heaving the Dip
Kind readers, you’ll have to excuse Money McBags today for not being able to put up a full column but you see, as you were all buying the dip and rejoicing over OPEC’s promise to produce the shit out of more oil for the first time in two years (which surely made M. King Hubberd
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3/7/11 Midnight Report: Market Goes Down on Libya as Qaddafi Proves not to be a Cunning Linguist
The market sold off today as the Fed came out (not that there is anything wrong with that) and said that they are both for and against QE3 (which is as useful as a yersinia fecal transplant. And a quick side note on the whole fecal transplant as the new curative breakthrough but Money McBags
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Economic Update: Jobs Report is Classic Case of Buy the Rumor, Sell the News (Unless the News Has A Hot Friend Who Likes 3-Somes)
The market bounced around a bit on Friday before closing down (something about conflict in the Middle East, spiking commodity prices, and Gabe Kaplan not showing up for the Welcome Back Kotter reunion) as investors were buying the dip, selling the rip, all while ogling the nip slip. That said, the big news of the
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3/3/11 Quick Update: Shit Out of Time Today (Literally and Figuratively)
Dear Readers and those just looking for more Kayla Collins pics, — Money McBags apologizes for not getting out a column tonight and for not having any macro updates this week (though he did post his titriffic interview with CRUS’ CEO on Monday and a deep dive in to QCOR on Wednesday that made the
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2/27/11 Two Day After Report: Will Market Win Best Actor Award for Impersonating a Healthy Economy?
Once again investors came out in full force to buy the fucking dip on Friday after learning that Qaddafi’s men opened fire on protesters in Tripoli in Moammar’s shoot first, shoot later negotiations policy, GDP was revised down to “QE3 is coming,” gold rose to over $1,400 an ounce once again making Flavor Flav’s teeth
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2/22/11 Midnight Report: Big Flaps in Mid East May Require Libyaplasty
Tim-fucking-berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Holy shit is it on like Qadaffi’s dong as protesters in Libya whip themselves up in to a frenzy over the lack of Joanna Krupa’s latest Maxim spread being available to them (or over their oppressive treatment at the hands of Qadaffi, their lack of say in the government, their non-existent job opportunities, and