As Money McBags facebooked, twittered, and bat signaled today, he will be traveling for the next few days so his column may be a bit sporadic and brief, but he will do his best to still get something out as the readers of the award winning When Genius Prevailed demand it.  So while today’s column may be shorter than a Vern Troyer nut hair, remember that sometimes it is about quality and not quantity.  That said, it was a strange day in the market as gold reached a record $1,350 an ounce (making it the 4th most expensive material per ounce in world after unicorn tears, Brooklyn Decker‘s vagina, and of course the rarest of materials, John Edwards’ credibility) which continued the biggest rise in hard assets since the Houston 500.  That said, the market finished mixed with large caps mostly holding up while growth and technology stocks got pounded like Taylor Rain in the back of the Bang Bus.  Investors continue to be uncertain about what to do as macro data remains manipulatedly relatively ok and HFTs keep chugging along, providing liquidity and propping up the market, until Waddell and Reed’s next trade sends them in to a tizzy.

In macro news, ADP came out with their jobs report estimate which showed private sector jobs dropped by 39k which was worse than the 20k guessed by analysts with their outdated models that are likely so heteroskedastic that they won’t even look at skedastics of the same gender.  In addition to an assawful ADP number, outplacement firm Challenger, Gray, and Christmas bah-humbugged an employment recovery by guessing that planned layoffs increased by 7% in September with a margin of error of +/- “holy shit.”  On the bright side only 462k job cuts have been announced this year which is a full 64% below last year’s pace, but of course, as the denominator lowers with more people out of work, comparing the absolute value of numerators will become less helpful than a nightlight for Stevie Wonder or learning how to speak the language of Koro, so as always, be very aware of the data used in any comparison.  Either way, the jobs numbers were shittier than Betty White’s adult diaper after a taco dinner washed down with a mug full of Metamucil so it will be interesting to see how high the B(L)S (and as always, the “L” is silent) manipulates the Birth/Death model on Friday to make the (No) Labor Department’s jobs report number look reasonable.

Elsewhere, Tim Geithner got his panties all in a bunch about currency manipulation today which was very surprising to Money McBags because he always thought Geithner went commando.  Speaking at the esteemed Brookings Institute, which isn’t just one of the country’s oldest Think Tanks, but also won Think Tank of the year in 2009 (no joke) after crushing the Fraser Institute in the muff guessing contest and scoring a solid victory in the talent competition thanks to President Strobe Talbott‘s thought provoking rendition of Shaggy’s It wasn’t me,” Geithner said that countries should concentrate more on growth and that the global recovery could be hurt by countries refusing to let their currencies appreciate (you hear that Bernanke, or China, whichever).

Finally the IMF cut their global growth guesses with the their guess for US growth falling from 2.9% to 2.3% as a result of a troubled financial sector, continued soft markets for real estate, and something about nobody having any fucking jobs.  The IMF warned about countries trying to cut budgets and grow at the same time, warned of some currencies being artificially too low (and yeah, they were talking about you China), and most of all warned that one shouldn’t get high off of one’s own supply.

Sorry for the quick hits tonight, Money McBags will be back with more tomorrow including a look at the market, small cap stocks (and yeah, he saw what you did today TSYS, you little value whore), and Molly Sims.

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