The big news of the day is that the Labor Department, led by Hilda Solis whose name is an anagram for the upcoming Snoop Dogg swine flu dis track titled “Hos said ill,” came out with their jobs report for December which showed a loss of 85k jobs.  This was worse than expectations and held the unemployment rate at 10% while moving the underemployment rate up from 17.2% to 17.3% (you know, the rate that actually counts all of the people unemployed, like the ones who have given up on trying to find a job because they’re 50 years old and companies can just hire someone half their age, if they’re going to hire anyone, at half the price to sit at a desk all day and watch Youtube videos, look at the hot chicks they can date, and wonder why Leon gets to take a break at 2pm while they have to fake work until 3pm).  So look at the person to your left and then look at the person to your right, and then look at the person one over from that person to your right and the person one over from the one to your left, and odds are one of you will be underemployed.  Leading the way down were builders who cut 53k jobs last month as the construction industry halted to stare at the Burj Dubai Tower and all it’s infinite awesomeness which now claims the title of the world’s tallest building, though still measures a few centimeter less than Peter North’s most famous appendage.

Further causing concern is that unemployment in the euro zone rose to 10%, it’s highest rate since 1998.  This was led by Latvia who now sports a 22% unemployment rate to go with it’s 22% literacy rate and Spain where 43.8% of the population under the age of 25 is now on siesta according to the NY Times, which we know is chock full of typos today.  If true, that is a truly amazing statistic.  You would think with all of that unemployed labor they could finally finish the Sagrada Familia, I mean it’s only been under construction for 128 years and to put that in context, 128 years ago there was no Panama Canal, TV hadn’t yet been invented, and Barbara Walters was still in High School.

In stock news today KO slid 2% as JP Morgan downgarded them to neutral based on KO’s 18% premium to the group.  The analyst obviously is unaware of KO being a great dollar hedge due to their booming worldwide business spurred on by great brand equity and a fuck load of sugar.  The financial sector is also giving back some gains today with the Citi analyst cutting estmates for investment banks and people getting temporary amnesia and forgetting the one fact Money McBags keeps harping on, banks are getting money for free and lending it for more than free and at a spread at historic highs.  Sure risk mitigation is the most important metric, and banks have failed at that worse than Artie Lange failed at accuracy, but the next few Qs should show record profits.

Anyway, that’s all until monday, until then, enjoy the weekend.

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