11/1/10 Midnight Report: The Calm Before The (Shit) Storm
The market ran in the morning today on the strength of China manufacturing the fuck out of some shit before falling in the afternoon after realizing that most Americans can no longer afford to buy the fuck out of that same shit (except of course for iPhones, because no matter how poor people get, they still want to be able to masturbate on chatroulette in the comfort of their local Unemployment Office bathrooms to help dull the pain).
That said, the next two days promise to be almost as exciting as Teddy Roosevelt’s charge up San Juan Hill or the build up to Karissa Shannon’s sex tape as the mid-term elections are tomorrow followed by the Fed’s QE2 announcement on Wednesday where the entire market will be able to sell the news faster than any Rupert Murdoch entity. As for the elections, Money McBags gives them a big fucking yawn since a bunch of douchey white guys will either be reelected or replaced by a different bunch of douchey white guys who all propose to be for different things and yet all will do the same fucking thing (and yes, Money McBags is more jaded than an ancient chinese artifact or a clapper).
So kind readers, when you go to the polls tomorrow, remember you have a third option and that option is to vote “None of the above” and write in Money McBags from the Bail Outs Get Us Savings party (BOGUS for short). Money McBags laid out his platform the other week but it involves being 100% up front about ruining the economy and destroying fiat currency. As we learned the other week, not counting moral hazard, GM/Ford, AIG, and the dollar, bail outs have had solid returns for the US of A and with debt piling up faster than Paris Hilton‘s DUIs, social security dwindling like Alan Greenspan’s reputation, and state and local governments getting ready to disappear like manners or as if they had crossed the great Woland, we need those returns. So in the most counter intuitive, yet highly logical way, the BOGUS party will destroy the economy in short order and then bail it out to bring back prosperity. It may not work, but you got anything better?
As for macro news today, personal spending rose less than guessed as apparently people can only buy one Netflix membership at a time. While spending was up .2% (vs. .4% guesses) incomes dropped for the first time in a year which means the savings rate declined to 5.3%. Luckily, that isn’t anything about which to worry because in America, saving is for big pussies. Plus it’s not like 401ks are being tapped at record rates so why wait to pay rent in the future (when it will still likely be too damn high) when you can buy 42 inch rims for your Escalade now? Wait, what’s that, 401k withdrawals are at record highs and the 16%+ unemployed people are no longer contributing to any type of retirement funds? Well, at least we’ll have Marisa Miller.
In other macro news, the ISM’s manufacturing Index rose to 56.9, which was better than guessed and was above the 54.4 in September as apparently the manufacturing sector is now producing broken dreams and taint tickles. Finally, construction spending rose 0.5%, which was better than guessed and was driven by a 1.3% increase in spending on public projects such as building schools, erecting bridges, and filling in man holes (or as it is called in San Francisco, Friday night).
Internationally, the big news was that China’s PMI manufacturing survey rose to a 6 month high after licking one too many of their own lead paint produced toys. The index registered 54.7 in October which was up from 53.8 September and 51.7 in August and has now signaled expansion for 20 consecutive months (though after expanding for that many months, Money McBags believes they were supposed to call their doctor to seek immediate help or simply take the Asa Akira posters off of their walls). Either way, the reading was not just higher than consensus guesses of 52.9, but it was higher than every single analyst guess which shows that heteroskedascity is a more universal language than love or signing.
In the market, ABK may be going bankrupt in this week’s edition of “no shit?” ABK defaulted on their interest payment and may have to file Chapter 11 as they have not been able to raise adequate capital since investors apparently hate shitty companies with broken business models and more liabilities than on Travis Henry’s tax return.
Also, WL was down ~45% in a take under by M&T Bank which once again proves Money McBags’ long standing hypothesis (soon to be fact) that it is impossible to value financial service companies as their balance sheets are more full of shit than a hippopotamus with no asshole and suffering from Prader-Willi syndrome. Honestly, Money McBags has gone on this rant before as he actually spent two long years of his life as a financial services equity analyst, but one has a better chance of solving P vs. NP using only an abacus and one of Gregori Perelman’s nut hairs than one does of properly valuing any public financial services company using only publicly available information.
In small cap news, HSTM rocketed up on heavy volume and Money McBags broke their quarter down recently and thinks the stock isn’t cheap anymore. That said, there has been very weird volume on the name over the past month or so, so it is possible someone knows something and is building a big position. That said, Money Mcbags isn’t the person who knows that something here so he will happily sit out and yet acknowledge that it is a decent little company that seems to be in good niche and operating well.
IMAX also continues to shoot higher and ZAGG sold off by ~12% on twice the daily volume as people take profits after a huge run (and seeing as how those people include the CFO who ditched 90k shares last month at much lower prices, Money McBags remains very wary of this one product company). More importantly though, Money McBags dropped ~1,300 words on QCOR’s quarter earlier today so you should all check it out on your iPhones during that meeting you have today and don’t feel like participating in the discussion.
|Print article||This entry was posted by Money McBags on November 2, 2010 at 12:14 am, and is filed under Daily report. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.|
No trackbacks yet.
about 4 years ago - 1 comment
Holy fucking shit. It is not often Money McBags wakes up to such a far reaching news story (even farther reaching than Ben Bernanke’s logic) and a story of such epic proportions (even more epically proportioned than Ice-T’s wife) that it dominates the headlines more than a Presidential election, has potentially more dire consequences on
about 4 years ago - 1 comment
While there may have been a tsunami in Japan (and Money McBags heard rumors that it was caused by everything from Godzilla and Mothra learning that they had invested their savings with Bernie Madoff to a rush to the Apple stores to buy the new Hello Kitty themed iPad2), there was a spoogenami in the
about 4 years ago - 3 comments
The market sold off today as the Fed came out (not that there is anything wrong with that) and said that they are both for and against QE3 (which is as useful as a yersinia fecal transplant. And a quick side note on the whole fecal transplant as the new curative breakthrough but Money McBags
Economic Update: Jobs Report is Classic Case of Buy the Rumor, Sell the News (Unless the News Has A Hot Friend Who Likes 3-Somes)
about 4 years ago - 6 comments
The market bounced around a bit on Friday before closing down (something about conflict in the Middle East, spiking commodity prices, and Gabe Kaplan not showing up for the Welcome Back Kotter reunion) as investors were buying the dip, selling the rip, all while ogling the nip slip. That said, the big news of the
2/3/11 Midnight Report: Bernanke Says Everything is A-OK (Other than Employment, Non-Core Inflation, and Anything Else That Makes a Healthy Economy)
about 4 years ago - 4 comments
The market closed up again today as Ben Bernanke let the National Press Club know that either the economy is fucked, or it isn’t (Money McBags is still trying to decipher Benny B’s speech but as “blowhard” is what Money McBags’ considers a command and not a language, it may take some time), protests in
about 4 years ago - No comments
Fuck yeah was it on today as the cry of “1400 or Bust!” rang through the trading pits (and if it is Melissa Archer’s bust, well, then Money McBags may have to be rooting with his shorts) like other momentous rallying cries such as “The British are coming,” “Remember the Alamo,” and “Who Let the
about 4 years ago - 1 comment
The market ran today like Ben Bernanke was giving out free money (which um, he kind of is, as long as you have already proven that you are untrustworthy and have bad judgment), or giving out free shares of Facebook (which at this rate will be valued higher than an original copy of Birds of
about 5 years ago - 3 comments
Kind of a drab hum drum day in the market yesterday as no new countries were close to defaulting, no new IPOs of shitty companies were being sold (and yeah Harrah’s, Money McBags is looking at you), and no new news on whether Milla Jovovich will be joining her country’s burgeoning Femen movement. — With
about 5 years ago - 5 comments
The market slid today as Cisco spooked investors with a bad Q as they are still struggling to come up with a hit after the Thong Song, the G20 meetings proved to be less positive than a Helen Thomas pregnancy test, and macro news was more non-existent than dark matter (for now), as bond markets,
11/9/10 Midevening Report: As QE2 Hangover Wears Off, Will Market Wake Up in A Pool of Its Own Volatility
about 5 years ago - No comments
It was another lackluster day in the market as investors are still trying to regain their bearings from last week’s quadruple news high of elections, QE2, the jobs report, and Kat Dennings nude photos being released. With all of the excitement of those events more than priced in to the market, investors have spent the