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10/19/10 Midnight Report: 50k iPads a day won’t keep the bear market away
Timberrrrr. The market sold off today as a result of tech companies posting earnings that failed to titillate the street, China raising their interest rates to try to stave off an asset bubble that soon may be only a prick away from popping, and the rent still being too damn high. Up until now, the
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7/21/10 Midevening Report: Market “unusually certain” that it should go down
The market was chugging right along today like a Kennedy at a sorority mixer after Apple titillated the market with sales stronger than the breath of either of the world’s foremost cunning linguists, the great Vladmir Nabokov and the greater Janine Lindemulder, until Ben Bernanke got up and threw his figurative Baby Ruth into the
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4/20/10 Midday Report: Goldman blows quarter out, then offers to blow SEC Chief of Enforcement Robert Khuzami as part of “settlement”
The markets are modestly higher today despite a blow out quarter by Goldman as other blue chip companies mostly met expectations and meeting expectations after an 80% market rally is like trying to impress Grigori Perelman with long division or Tommy Lee with a Hawaiian Tropic girl. The big news is obviously that Goldman released
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3/4/10 Midafternoon Report: Market to Greece: “Your bonds are the one that I want,” just hope they don’t leave “Tears on My Pillow”
The market is bouncing around today as initial jobless claims were out and they fell by 29k to 469k, almost exactly the 470k number that economists estimated proving the old adage that “even a broken economist is almost right once a decade.” While the drop is positive, it didn’t drop by as much as claims
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2/25/10 Midfternoon Report: Goldman Sachs seeks nobel prize for literature after (under)writing biggest Greek tragedy since Euripides
Greece’s debt issues are once again scaring the market like the snake ridden visage of the famous gorgon from ancient Greek mythology known more familiarly as Lady GaGa. Rising debt, a spiraling deficit, and a massive bidding up of CDS by traders betting against Greece has created somewhat of a Foucault current around the Greek
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2/9/10 Midday Report: Greece once again open for business, no longer a Euro school dropout
The market is up strongly this morning after EU Bank president Jean-Claude Trichet decided to leave Australia where he was attending the Reserve Bank of Australia’s 50th Anniversary Symposium which was a party likely as raucous as a staring contest between Bea Arthur and JD Salinger (mainly because they’re both dead). Even so, we are
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1/08/10 Midday Report: Market shakes off unemployment reports, claims those people are just lazy
The big news of the day is that the Labor Department, led by Hilda Solis whose name is an anagram for the upcoming Snoop Dogg swine flu dis track titled “Hos said ill,” came out with their jobs report for December which showed a loss of 85k jobs. This was worse than expectations and held